A perfect Friday in Poland:
09:00 - Have three vodka shots for breakfast
11:00 - Go to Żabka, cross the road when you see a black person
12:00 - Join a celebration of a failed uprising from 100 years ago
13:00 - Go to church to reserve a seat for Sunday
14:00 - Lunch: pork with bread and potatoes
15:00 - Complain that Ukrainians are lazy
16:00 - Complain that Ukrainians take all the jobs
17:00 - Post on Facebook that Poland is the last safe country in Europe
18:00 - Get beaten up by three men in tracksuits for wearing the wrong football t-shirt
22:00 - Lie down in bed dirty and drunk, next to your beautiful blonde wife