My "high functioning autism" is basically everyone else seeing me as "completely normal but maybe just a bit picky/ particular"... while internally it's me in constant sensory overload, social overload, and fighting against my executive dysfunction to just do stuff
Sometimes I'm very pissed off at myself because of how slow I react to change or how slowly i get my trust back if i make a mistake, but then i remember I'm allowing myself to feel and i get proud