Bryan Nelson

Father, Husband, Buddhist, Wordsmith, Metalhead, Animal Rights Advocate, Coffee Addict, Beer Connoisseur, and Coding Enthusiast

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

If you want to make a 5yo’s day, let them scan something @ the supermarket self-checkout...

You would’ve thought I told her fairies were real and proved it.

#simplepleasures

[Allan Beveridge @TheTwinPowers]

"True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future."

Lucius Annaeus Seneca
#quote
#Wisdom
#TuesdayWisdom

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

HABITS OF HIGHLY PRODUCTIVE PEOPLE

-GET UP AT 4 AM

-DRINK TEA

-LIE

-JUST TWEET LIES NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU DO

-WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TOPSOIL WHO CARES MAN

-EAT A HEALTHY BREAKFAST

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

I love working from home but my cats are like annoying coworkers who don’t understand that headphones mean “Do Not Disturb”.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

As a programmer, I believe #javascriptfatigue should be a recognized medical condition and covered by health insurance.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

*putting my 5yo to bed*
5: Daddy, did you know there was a baby on the Mayflower?
Me: Oh, yeah?
5: Yeah but they’re all dead now.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

@marcusparks currently listening to the latest episode of Top Hat and I agree with you... Trump likes dick taters. @BenKissel

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

Don’t judge an entire genre based on the unimaginative crap that gets played on the radio.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

Attention #HamptonRoads: all the ice from #Inga is melted. Stop driving like a bunch of fucking dildos.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

If someone steals my identity, I think they should have to spend time with my family as punishment.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

Merging is a fine art: too bad most motorists are still drawing stick figures with crayons and coloring outside the lines

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

Nothing says "fuck all y'all" quite like heating up fish in a microwave.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

@ZombieRiot MacReady, you blockhead!!

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

"If the Government doesn’t believe that animals can even feel pain, surely none of their rights will be protected at all." @Animals1st @_AnimalAdvocate https://t.co/vuRLyHej0z

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

My 4yo just informed me her shower water is too dry.

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role for the poor, yeah #WarPigs

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

https://t.co/KLEvvU4QIy

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

Interstate + AC/DC = Potential Speeding Ticket #HighwayToHell

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

Watching George Carlin standup + Eating = Choking Hazard

[Bryan Nelson @bwnelson757]

@Animals1st @_AnimalAdvocate House Republicans Advance Five Bills to Weaken Endangered Species Act https://t.co/wnlSUjRX1t