flight attendant: OMG! is there anyone on board who can find a ridiculous reason for these two fictional characters to finally kiss?
me, standing up as other passengers begin to clap: i was trained for this moment
a lot of incels posting “rape isn’t violent, i’d just get over it” and all i can think of is the journalist who thought waterboarding “wasn’t torture” only to volunteer to go through it and last less than 20 seconds before tapping out to admit he was completely wrong.