Byron Bache

It’s like Byron Bay with a shh on the end. Yes, I’ve made peace with that. He / him.

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

If all Ambers are bitches, but not all bitches are Ambers, what percentage of Laurens will kiss someone else’s boyfriend at the year eleven formal?

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

@Centrelink I’ve been calling 132850 for days on end, and your IVR tells me I “haven’t been successful” and hangs up on me EVERY SINGLE TIME. You told Senate Estimates the average call wait time is “18.04 minutes”, which is clearly a manipulation. How can I get real help?

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

George Pell had eighty-one years on this planet to do some good. There’s no question he made corporate achievements within the Catholic Church. But he did irrefutably immoral things and he ended his life still claiming he didn’t. That ain’t Christ-like. That’s fucking evil.

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

We can’t all be pretty and we can’t all spend a Samantha Armytage length of time in a makeup chair but I’m sure we can all stop the nation from seeing us look like shaved ham having a chat

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

I realise there are bigger problems in the world but must we have news interviews with people who are at home zooming in live from a $3 windows PC in a windowless room, I don’t want to see tired medical receptionist looking people up fucking close with their JB Hifi headphones on

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

Honestly like ring lights are $10 now and sorry but you’re appearing on television do you not care that you’re on TELEVISION looking like a corpse Detective Olivia Benson needs to avenge the death of

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

Shakira should have let her hips to do her taxes, just saying.

[jo @whatsJo]

what if you invented something you’re really proud of and then all the villagers said it’s from the devil

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

I can’t see but I assume he’s wearing driving gloves.

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

I don’t like it when a boomer drives my Uber.

It’s hotter than Tiger Balm up in here. Graham John has the heater set to “My blood pressure is 80/60 and I can’t remember how to turn on channel two DIANE DIANNNE??”

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

But he is listening to ambient techno. Which I’m sure is what his stepson left the radio on.

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

And it’s become clear Graham John knows one way and one way only to get to a freeway entrance. Even though there are like seven.

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

THE BLIND SIDE 2: RED, WHITE AND BLIND?????

[Pat Castaldo @PatC]

The boomers seem to love Facebook because it's a newspaper about themselves where they also get to write a letter to the editor for every single article published.

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

Real talk: how thrilled must Lizzie be that Boris isn’t her final Prime Minister.

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

@danieljohnhall ⚰️

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

Okay. Hear me out.

If These Walls Could Talk 2: The Musical.

[wasian dawn wiener @henryevil]

I think about leaving twitter all the time but I just know the day I do gen z will discover HBO's Girls and that's something I need to witness myself

[Byron Bache @byronbache]

Hilarious dog whistling. The ADF employs about 80,000 people. The NDIS has 3,500 employees and supports 400,000 Australians. Of course it costs more. It delivers more services more efficiently AND its employees pay income tax.