Captain Connecticut

Feel free to read this nonsense

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Anyone else look at some of your own tweets and say, "What am I? Ten years old?"

No? Oh. Me neither then.

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

I’m driving by the bus stop and some guy yells at me “What time is it?!”

I yell back “Time to buy a car!”

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Dear @MiamiHEAT fans,

Please chant “Angel Reese” (clap clap, clap clap clap) nice and loud for Draymond Green tomorrow. Poke the bear, Miami.

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

To all the people I’ve lost touch with over the years:

It was all your fault.

[Confused @befuddledme]

I love to hear someone whistling a tune.

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

I'd wait in a line for you.

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Let’s make 2023 the year you keep your crazy ass thoughts to yourself!

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Imagine a world where no one hated anything…

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Happy Leftovers Day!

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Why do they offer services for cheaper when you go to cancel? Shouldn’t they be giving you the lowest price to begin with?

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Who is in charge of figuring out how many people are traveling this weekend and how the hell did they do it?

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

@NotWorthitBro @official_glp Take it easy….

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

Just buy an Amazon truck so you can park wherever the hell you feel like.

[tater🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl]

Weird how I wake up every day ready for bed.

[Being Foolish @Celadonblues]

Got a universal remote. This changes everything.

[Captain Connecticut @byronblurb]

If you could pick a random celebrity to just show up in your house uninvited I doubt it would be Guy Fieri or Kelly Clarkson.

[tater🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl]

Kinda scary how much I have in common with a potato.

[gews° @gruetus]

2021, I'm predicting Zombies.