BREAKING NEWS: Dallas Cowboys practice was delayed two hours today after a player found an unknown white powdery substance on the field. Jerry Jones immediately suspended practice and called the police. After analysis, experts confirmed it was the goal line. Practice resumed once officials decided the Cowboys were unlikely to see it again this season.
"If I had a nickel for every time everyone in McKinney was dead, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?"