C Dot Ham

i am bad, and that’s good. i will never be good, and that’s not bad. there’s no one i’d rather be, than me.

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

me with long fake nails: *cant type on my phone*, *can’t type on my computer*, *can’t pull up my pants*, *can’t grasp my zipper*, *can’t pick up small objects*

my boyfriend when i have long fake nails: back scratchies :)

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

my biggest ick is when someone plugs their nose when jumping into a body of water

just breathe out. jesus.

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

tiktok: the 5 summer tops you need from amazon!!!!

and it’s just the skinniest 19 year old girl you’ve ever seen

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

when i’m 70% through my slow burn romance book and the main characters are finally going on their first ✨date✨

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

few years ago i didn’t want to download tiktok and now im eating a whole fucking cucumber every day, jesus

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

another day. another blurry ring pic posted to social media.

just say you think it’s ugly. like don’t play me like this where is the gd CLARITY?

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

if you’re gonna post about your engagement, at least make the picture CLEAR so i can zoom in on your RING and JUDGE your fiancés TASTE!

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

the way my cat looks at me every night when my edible hits and i try to pick her up

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

anyone: have you seen the documentary about that scandal where-

yes. and i’ve also seen the much less known doc from 2 years ago on that same scandal and i’ve read all the articles. i know more than you. but by all means, go on

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

She made us drinks
To drink
We drunk em
Got drunk

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

the chokehold that the woman on tiktok who makes that really good looking roasted garlic has on me is growing tighter by the day

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

after watching the women’s NCAA national championship game on sunday, the men’s game just doesn’t really hit, yano?

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

That booty is as big as Wiscansin 😳

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

i feel like the movie surfs up was made as a joke but goddamn, what a masterpiece of comedy

[teryn @youngtiddy]

hello sharks. im here today asking for $20 to get chipotle

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

me when i’m visiting my parents:
-wears moms pants
-wears moms sweatshirts
-wears moms socks

-“mom, i hate to ask…but can i wear the shoes you currently have on your feet?”

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

my love language is mini weenies

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

8 years ago i was sitting in a frat house trying to get evan to fall in love with me and now we’re on the couch in our shared apartment intently watching our litter robot rotate after our cat uses it. life comes atcha fast

[Steven Sullivan ❤️‍🔥 @Stevensully99]

This would be the world rn if Taylor Swift was Plankton

[The Duck @TheOregonDuck]

.@HarryTheHusky doesn’t ship taylor and travis

[C Dot Ham @c_hammz]

cute good morning texts from my girlie’s husband 💚💛 sco @DaneCrane55