คนเก่งของท้องฟ้า 🩵
#andaanunta
🌊: actually, you could say things like these are ones’ challenges in life
🌊: and for me, it could be this certain event while for others, it could be something entirely different
🌊: I had the experience of living in South Korea and..
🌊: to say it straightforwardly, when moving somewhere without knowing the future or how things could turn out, it was really stressful
🌊: it was extremely competitive and I also put pressure on myself
🌊: how should I put this? I felt that I haven’t succeeded yet and my thoughts were on my family who would have been worried about me
🌊: of course, I’d want my family to be proud of what I can do right?
🌊: but being there.. being far from home while things weren’t exactly easy..
🌊: there were many things that was quite challenging for me but I also don’t want to say that..
🌊: people perceive difficulties differently and for me, this was it, that was why I didn’t want to talk about this and wanted to forget about it
🌊: I was in a really bad place when I just returned to Thailand, it really affected my way of life
🌊: at that time, I decided to go (to South Korea) despite being awarded a scholarship to study in Japan
🌊: despite the fact that I was already admitted into a Thai university
🌊: I missed the opportunity to continue my study and didn’t know what the future will bring
🌊: to be honest, that made me feel really bad about myself so when I returned to Thailand, I had to take some time to steady myself
🌊: at the beginning of that period, I didn’t want to be that person who didn’t succeed, who couldn’t cut it, who was weak so I put a lot of pressure on myself..
🌊: oh and the music is really putting me in the mood
🌊: ..and that was what made me worse
🌊: I wasn’t in a good place since when I was there but I persisted and kept forcing myself to be okay
🌊: actually, even my friends there were asking if I need to see a doctor
🌊: but.. at that time I still felt that I was alright, it wasn’t until I could no longer force myself that I realised I wasn’t okay
🌊: I don’t know if it could be called ‘panic’ but I couldn’t listen to music or watch these kinds of entertainment
🌊: even when I went to my dance class, I felt like I couldn’t breathe once I entered the studio and I would start crying
🌊: I had to leave, I couldn’t stand being in that situation any longer so I had to accept the reality that I wasn’t feeling well and that I had to take a break
🌊: this event has made me a more understanding person towards people who are struggling, people who are drained and I don’t think that this is their flaw at all
🌊: I would like to embrace everyone, I would like to say that you don’t have to endure it all
🌊: you already know yourself well and undoubtedly have a will to live a good life
🌊: there is no need for you to endure it all, you can be honest with your feelings too
🌊: so.. I would like everyone to love yourself, no matter what happens, you will always have yourself
🌊: being successful is good but the journey there is also important, please take care along the way
🌊: even though you can succeed but if you didn’t find any happiness on the way or if you had to suffer, you would still be left with your shattered self in the end
🌊: and for me, this isn’t something that I can accept
part 2 in the comment 👇🏻
🌊: I’d like everyone to take care of yourself, you can be weak too, you are allowed to feel low, you aren’t required to be strong all the time
🌊: there’s no need to be happy all the time so long as you can accept your own feelings at that time
🌊: you can embrace yourself at times
🌊: I have mentioned before that I started this not knowing how to dance at all and my singing was just passable but I am really into this
🌊: so I joined courses to learn and really had to put in a lot of effort
🌊: at that time.. it was almost 24 hours, I woke up at 3am (to go practise) and came back really late
🌊: actually, it doesn’t feel right for me to say that I have overcome such great difficulty, I just wanted to tell this story to show everyone that if I can do this, there will be one day that you too can conquer all your obstacles
🌊: I will always cheer you on
🌊: talking about these kinds of things.. I’m not making much sense eh? 🫣
🌊: once you have overcome it, once you have embrace yourself enough, once you have made peace with your own feelings, you will be able to talk about it
🌊: you will look back and feel thankful that you have beat it and learned a lot from it
🌊: personally, this experience made me a more understanding person, I’m more understanding towards one’s effort, one’s suffering
🌊: understanding how hard it is to be far from home and the value of each.. I’m not sure how to put this
🌊: to be able to accept that you might not be perfect but you can appreciate how hard you have tried
🌊: also, one day, when I can thrive, I also should like to share my story that even someone like me, who is not exceptional, can do it
🌊: I would like to cheer everyone on
🌊: I am able to talk to you about this now, how’s that!? 😆