not dead yet

local mouth breather 🧻 she/her

[JT @jiratickets]

Guy who has a Don’t Tread On Me bumper sticker but cheers on his government gunning down its citizens

[死 @humanxmaybe]

you’re telling me a blunt forced this trauma

[bort @tacobort]

No sorry next week won’t work I’ll be a shadow of what I once was

[Majooo @Mhonarissaa]

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

sorry i didn't text back i got writer's block

[໊ @meishato]

i’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information

[not dead yet @cactusbitchh]

if marcelle knocks a glass over and no one is around to see it, did the drink even spill?

[not dead yet @cactusbitchh]

sometimes i don’t like where a show is headed so i just start it over

[not dead yet @cactusbitchh]

ever google “shaken baby syndrome” in the middle of a conversation with someone?

[Mr. Baseball @MisterBaseball0]

They should make flavored gun barrels

[not dead yet @cactusbitchh]

the only thing i hate more than not being invited to something, is being invited to something.

[ravn @mfnravn]

i need something tattooed, pierced or stabbed real soon or i might crash out

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

How I train my dragon is, frankly, none of your business.

[rin ☾⋆⁺₊⋆🇵🇸 @rinnystarr]

worried i’ll log into work tomorrow to an email that says “you are in BIG trouble and we all hate you”

[Mikael @BacardiCapital]

I hope this email finds you rock hard

[josef k hole @poeticdweller]

"i asked chatgpt" "i asked grok" well i just made some shit up and people believe me because i'm well read and use big words

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

sorry i bit you . there was too much sound

[Andrea @alferslefen]

I need to sit next to a body of water about this

[ehime ora @ehimeora]

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.