Olaaaaaander

What in the H E double hockey sticks

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

Pov: shy girl likes to howl

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

It’s rare that you see a true yellow light on a traffic light. Most of em are orange. Miss me with that orange bs

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

I wonder how mysterious I look reading my psychology textbook in a starbucks

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

Riddle me this. You walk through airport security and the scanner beeps. You really have to pee. The scanner beeped because the liquid in your body was more than 3.5 fl oz. What happens next?

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

I have a test on limits tomorrow but y’all are really testing my limits

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

Why does nobody ever skip steps when walking down stairs? Everyone always does it going up and then is TOO SCARED to do it going down. Y’all are fake.

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

Nick Carraway? More like Nick Carragay!

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

Remember when people used to not share hair ties because of lice? Where did that mentality go? Lice didn’t go extinct people. Be smarter please, I don’t want the lice outbreak of 22.

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

Why is no one talking about the glee warblers anymore? Society is f-ed. Pardon the language

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

Don’t pee while squatting

[Olaaaaaander @cactuseverdeen9]

My first child’s name is gonna be chlamydia