♱ catherine ♱

. ࣪˖˚⟡˖ ࣪tw ed & sh // vents, rants, and nonsensical bullshit // 19 // bmi big asf // backup is @seraphestcaelum ࣪˖⟡˚˖ ࣪.

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

i love spewing nonsense on here

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

i’m gonna kill myself my therapist is moving to spain oh my fucking god

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

@BoneyBugE thank you, i’ll look into it!

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

lowkey highkey think i got a tumor in my neck. it’s about 1 cm in diameter and it’s hard as a rock and doesn’t move with my skin so i know it’s not a pimple. i personally think it would be very funny if i had cancer but that is sadly unlikely.

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

my therapist also canceled my first appointment after three weeks of not seeing her and i am going to jump of a building

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

imma be crashing out over the fitbit app for the next 5-7 business days so be warned

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

new fitbit app is hardly even functional omfg i’m going to have a panic attack over this shit

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

it will no longer show my full weight graph spanning the last 3+ years with hundreds of data entries and i’m going to lose my shit

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

fitbit app just changed to “google health app” and i am fucking furious

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

calories don’t count tomorrow because i say so

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

quitting my job and going back to school in september and i cannot wait i am so sick of this fuckass store

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

eternally infuriated at recipe websites for listing the calories but not the fucking serving size. “300 calories per serving” HOW MANY FUCKING GRAMS IS THE SERVING!!! 300 CALORIES MEANS NOTHING IF I DONT KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES IT IS PER 100g!!!!!

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

i feel like i’ve lost my mind and i have no way to express how lost and confused am i

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

genuinely considering cutting for the first time in an eternity. i don’t want to wait three years for the scars to fade again but i also feel too miserable to cope without some sort of self destruction

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

disappeared of the face of this app for two and a half months and gained a fuck ton of weight and now i hate myself and want to die. ignore how i do this exact same shit three times a year.

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

love it when my dad throws everything on my desk on the floor and then gets mad at me when i ask him to pick it up. “what’d you even want me to pick up” idk maybe the piles of books and papers you just shoved onto the floor

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

tell me why my dad just left his bedroom (which has a bathroom in it) to go piss in my bathroom and not wash his hands (because of course he doesn’t) i fucking hate it here bro

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

i wish is could clone my therapist and take her home with me. i think i would be cured then.

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

i look fat asf in this but this was my fit miku expo fit! i love this dress so much

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

suicide cancelled ❌ i found my charger

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

i’m staying the night at my friends house that’s lives three hours away and i can’t find my charger and if i lost it i am mega fucked. it’s probably in their car which i parked half a mile away and it is 2 am and everyone is trying to sleep so i cant ask to check so if i really

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

tired of that and know it’s a waste. i don’t know what the fuck to do i can’t fucking live anymore like this i hate myself im so stupid i need to just shut the fuck up and die

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

embarrassing but if this thing is really lost i’m going to do some fucked up shit i already know it. i already ate my maintenance today so i feel bloated and fat and how am i gonna eat from here on out if i can’t track my calories expended id rather just die i cant do this right

[♱ catherine ♱ @caelusseraphim]

everyone’s time money and energy that they don’t need to waste on my pathetic self. if that charger isn’t in the car tomorrow i think i’ll try to cut my neck or something and finish it quickly so i dont have to drag everyone along for another treatment stint because we are all