Caesar Salerno

Twitter account of Caesar Salerno

[Caesar Salerno @caesar_sal]

Rate my gym fit🤔

[ol’ stocky ⛳️ @oldstocky]

I can understand why Italians saw this and decided to invent unemployment

[WALKER🪂 @maxl1am]

the guilt of being the son who loves his family but breathes easier when he's far away

[Mike Mekus @mmekus18]

“PERSONALLY, I REFUSE TO CARRY THE BURDEN OF HIDING MY EMOTIONS”

He’s one of one, man. Special fucking player.

[Quinoah 🔍⏸️ @NoahTopper]

This just popped into my head

[Never break kayfabe @Quadripolar_B]

What I used to say when the weedman wouldn’t answer the phone

[Brigham's Burner @FiredUpCoug]

I just reminded my 16-year-old son that his old dad still has a trick or two.

I was inflating a pool floaty with two chambers. After finishing the first one, I casually said, “I did that in only seven breaths.”

I had not counted.

Immediately, he grabbed the floaty and started inflating the other side.

When he finished, he puffed out his chest and said, “Well, that only took me four. It’s probably because of all the running I do. I have better lung capacity. When you breathe, do you feel it all the way down below your ribs, into your diaphragm?”

As he was explaining the science of his superior lungs, I started grinning.

Then laughing.

He looked at me, confused.

I said, “I didn’t count how many breaths it took me. I just knew if I gave you a number, you’d inflate the other side for me.”

He rolled his eyes.

Then he started laughing too.

So naturally, I said, “I just mogged your rizz so hard it froze your aura.”

He stared at me and said, “Dad, you literally did not use any of those words correctly. That’s so embarrassing.”

I said, “I know. That’s why I do it.”

[✦ 𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓮 ✦🪐 @upshine3]

Half the time it's pattern recognition from growing up around dysfunction.

[Yemi @6oss_x]

Always take it personal. Patterns don't lie.

[Justin Barnett @JustinPBarnett]

Literally how I got all my jobs for the last decade of my life

[k• @luvrgrrrl777]

put my 2 weeks in at my old job. district manager called me and asked what they can do to make me stay. i said the new job offer i got was almost 6 dollars more an hour, so match that or im out. he said it was a pleasure and wished me luck on my new endeavor LMAO

[𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐢✰ @_timiszn]

Crazy that 70-80 year olds are generally seen as unemployable due to physical and mental decline. But we're allowing them to run our entire country.

[BIG HYCE @thehyce]

When a n!gga is tryna teach and correct you, he’s tryna keep you.

[🇭𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒏 🏴‍☠️🌴 @DigitalGanon]

Putain mais pourquoi tout le monde fait instinctivement les mêmes trucs ça me dépasse.

[goma @soigomaa]

we live on a planet where trees warn each other of danger through a fungal network. Where octopuses dream.
Where elephants return to the bones of the deceased and stand over them in silence. Where bees use dance to communicate where to fly and where the flower is.
Where crows remember the faces of people who were cruel to them and pass this memory to their children.
Where ants build cities. Where cats purr at a frequency that accelerates the healing of bones.
Where, after a forest fire, the first thing the earth does is grow flowers.

[Jackson @Jacksonsrule]

I want to be rich. But not Lamborghini
or Rolex rich, I want to be rich enough to go to the gym at 3pm and nobody can tell me no. To tap the family in front of me at the supermarket and say, "It's on me," Rich enough that my future wife never has to worry about getting a job. Rich enough to show my children the world, not pictures of it. Rich enough to take my friends to dinner and say, "| got this", Rich enough that God uses me to help the people who are in need. That's my version of rich.

[𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐢✰ @_timiszn]

Maturity is realizing that none of us are easy to love. What truly matters is finding someone who’s willing to understand you, stay committed, and grow alongside you.

[Muna @Munalozy]

There is one thing about life, we can literally go from this to that. I mean, we can go from being dry and having nothing to having a very colorful life, having everything we’ve ever prayed for.

We get to that stage where everything is working out and life is beautiful because we’ve figured it out. I pray we all get to experience it.

[ღ @stfnigg]

this is the best food photo I've ever seen

[𝓓𝓸𝓬_𝔃𝓮𝓮 ✧ @doc_zee7]

you just wanted an excuse to post this image

[Rex Ruthor, MD @rxbiu]

Again, the greatest form of love is consideration.