heat zero

what the helly

[chimera @chimeraxmachina]

Wild how the Epstein files led to absolutely nothing. A massive, state-connected child trafficking ring turned into a few weeks of political theater until people's eagerness to do something evaporated. A consequence of US politics revolving around two parties who are complicit.

[heat zero @caieen2018]

These posts have never made me feel more proud to be an American

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.

An American immediately said, "I got a guy."

He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.

I asked who the guy was.

He said, "Just a guy."

He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."

That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.

I asked how he found this guy.

"My brother-in-law used him."

I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.

He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."

The house is still standing. That is the entire review.

Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.

I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.

Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.

He came at 1:40.

He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.

Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."

I asked when.

"Couple years."

I asked what I should do.

He said, "I'll give you a guy."

He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.

Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.

I have been given four guys since.

I have a guy for trees.

I did not know I needed a guy for trees.

I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.

[Vox Populi @SaorsaSonder]

🔥He's ADMITTING they ALL HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES. GOOD, THEY CAN ALL GO to PRISON for it TOO‼️‼️‼️

[🦅 @ilovewikipedia]

actually most americans aren’t gonna realize this at all. they’re gonna hear it and go “huh” and go back to watching trash tv or scrolling racist instagram reels, never to think of it again

[Patrick @suprsonicraygun]

They are so funny together Marvel should let them hang out again

[Paz @TheRealQuenny]

if you were to make a game this good in 2026 they would torture you in a shipping container for several months

[𝓔𝓶 ♡ @emkenobi]

These four men have the ability to end all the suffering that exists in our world, yet they have dedicated their lives to prolonging that suffering for their own greed and profit.

[neko @neekokix]

My intentions for you are pure but i still want to see you naked.

[JOKO @ItsJoko]

NEVER dice up a jalapeño and then touch your lil beast #ouch

[heat zero @caieen2018]

LOL. LMAO

[Estrogen Chic @EstrogenChic]

The thing about liberals is that they get REALLY mad if you say you want the people who want you dead to die

[heat zero @caieen2018]

Finally some good news in this endless cesspool of garbage

[Night Sky Today @NightSkyToday]

JUST IN🚨: Colombia bans all new oil and mining in its Amazon rain-forest. The protected area is the size of Sweden and covers 42% of the country.

[Will 🦥 Menaker @willmenaker]

One of the most evil things imaginable to me

[bONGO 🌐 @wariocolosseum]

this is the most blatant corruption ive seen and yet hes just allowed to be president for some reason

[Justyn @FUNKePills]

Urinals belong in the command position: center of room bravely facing the entrance, not against some cowardly side wall. We used to be a country

[heat zero @caieen2018]

@hxckdude I wasn’t kidding brau

[heat zero @caieen2018]

@hxckdude We carry the flame..

[heat zero @caieen2018]

@hxckdude I just had a strange conversation with my girlfriend about Charlie Kirk

[heat zero @caieen2018]

You’re just another person, I had almost forgot

[heat zero @caieen2018]

I wonder how long it’s been since she’s stalked me