Cait🍕

life's a bitch and then you die.

she/her.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Please refrain from commenting on other's bodies because it's none of your fucking business. Thanks.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

I wore a real bra and I want to die

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

High key who needs a roomie with a dog? Can't pay rent though 🤣🤣🤣😭

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Thinking about going to work tomorrow makes me want to cry.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Had a rocking Saturday night and used AI to help me write a business plan and menu for brewery in the old Lynn Auto Parts downtown 🤣🤣🤣

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Whoever has control of the jukebox at the Alpha is deep into their 1990s and I love it.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Feeling like I need to see @jettyrae live and soon!

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

How do I say, "I want someone who will let me eat them alive and give me everything I want." But in, like, an attractive way? Might have to chatGPT this 🤣🤣🤣

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

I am around constant noise all day. Kids talking, kids calling my name, asking questions, the radio going off, staff talking to me, noise in the hallway, the fucking bathroom hand dryers, five kids asking questions at once surrounding me. I want some quiet when I get home.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Got a "that outfit looks good but it would look better on my floor." IS THE BAR REALLY THIS LOW

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Saw a dude that has "entrepreneur at heart" wtf does that even mean??????

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

I'm rewatching season 18 of @BravoTopChef. I'm on the episode where they take indigenous ingredients and do a surf and turf dish. Watching the guests, in their regalia, talk about how they love each dish is making me emotional. You can see the happy in their eyes.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

I hate the way you say my name / like it's something secret / my pen is the barrel of the gun / remind me what side you should be on

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

I am literally so bad at flirting WHY

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT??????????

Or are you trying to impress me with your hunting prowess?? Guess what? Ya did neither, bitch.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Accidentally swiped right on a couple looking for a third. Please God, let them skip me 🤣🤣 WHY

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

I forgot Snapchat let's people know when you screenshot, even chats. So annoying.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Holy crap. I need a night out.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Why do so many dudes want to go hiking on a first date? That's how people get murdered. I'm not about to go off in the woods (period tbh) with some random ass man for a leisurely walk ALONE with no backup in case he's a creep. No.

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

Told my 5 year old niece I was looking for my Travis Kelce and she got a little irritated with me thinking I'm trying to break him and Taylor Swift up 🤣 had to explain I'm not trying to steal him 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Cait🍕 @caitercait]

And a lot of men are mystified that they can't get dates 🤣