Caitlin 💩

I prefer dogs over humans.

[Chief Nerd @TheChiefNerd]

🔥 Watch Megyn Kelly Shut Down NYT Journalist’s Narrative on Trump

“I don't give a sh*t about Trump getting handsy with somebody 20 years ago. I want someone who will close the border, which he has. I want someone who will keep boys out of my daughter's sports, which he has.”

🎥 @megynkelly

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

SO MUCH THIS. This is a VERY accurate depiction of the struggle within the LGB vs TQ+ community.
@megynkelly @ShawnRyan762

[mslisterssis @mslisterssis]

A message from an OG lesbian about the true agenda of the LGBTQ+ psy-op.
LGB without the TQ+ NOW!

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

@elonmusk please freeze @TSA funding until I can pet the dogs

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

@elonmusk please freeze @TSA funding until I can pet the dogs

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

@lizabee19 You still need therapy

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Unironically proving the point 😂

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Can't imagine why people don't want you reading to their kids.

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

@LarimerSheriff You left out Estes Park Health Paramedics who were a mile from the scene when this call came out.

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Who won the Dr. Dre concert

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Me to my girlfriend: "I was in the lounge of the ER watching an infomercial for butt plugs and I thought you might be hungry so I stole this salad for you"

Girlfriend: what

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

The other day I asked my girlfriend if she had any fantasies she'd like me to fulfill and she told me I could start by shutting the fuck up once in awhile

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

I'm a paramedic and anytime a colleague refers to ICP (intracranial pressure) I immediately assume they are referring to Insane Clown Posse and that's just one of my many toxic traits

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Just got a "you up?" text at 5pm on a Wednesday and if that's not indicative of who I am as a person then I don't know what is

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Masks are cool cuz they catch ice cream when you spill and that's working smarter not harder

Follow me for more pandemmy hacks

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

My buddy is sitting across the room and instead of getting up and showing him a meme, I tagged him in it so I didn't have to move and that's essentially why the other countries are beating us

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Besides sleeping with women, I would say the gayest thing about me is my undying love for Big Girls Don't Cry by @Fergie

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

I like to keep my FBI man on his toes by flipping between shopping for diamonds from @TiffanyAndCo and semi-automatic shotguns from @keltecweapons

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

In case anyone is wondering how Monday is going I burned my t shirt and gave myself a heat rash from eating chili so

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

Sweater or flannel: tales of a lesbian wardrobe crisis

[Caitlin 💩 @caitlin_riggs]

The fire guys at work had the fucking AUDACITY to suggest skipping over sk8r boi but its okay cuz I got you @AvrilLavigne and also I love you