Somewhere in Georgia is a lady named Cait Boswell who thinks her email address is my email address, and Iβm getting all her Academy Sports receipts no matter how many times I unsubscribe. π¬
Had a dream that my whole family went to the premiere of Jurassic World 2 and sat with @prattprattpratt and Iβve never been so sad to wake up. ππ¦π¦
If you ever come to our house and sit on the floor with our child, at some point there is a good chance she will try to lift up your shirt and repeatedly put her finger in your belly button. π€·πΌββοΈ
God bless the poor souls working at Old Navy today. I wanted to Robin Williams hug the poor cashier and say βitβs not your fault, itβs not your fault, itβs not your fault.β
There should be an event called The Momlympics. Moms compete in sports like Speed-Cleaning, Narrow Aisle Stroller Weaving, and Cooking While Screaming Babies Throw Things.