Sammy Dizzle

Not as entertaining on Twitter as I am on Facebook, apparently. Can’t win ‘em all #BHAFC

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@SouthernRailUK is there a problem with the level crossing at Berwick today?

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

I can’t stop watching this 😂

[Central @WestHam_Central]

HOTEL MOTEL HOLIDAY INNNN

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

Trying to buy a vape is worse than ordering a coffee in Starbucks.
Me: have you got a lemon one?
Them: no but I’ve got snozzberry and dinosaur fruit sprinkle flavour
Me: erm… strawberry?
Them: how about sparkling elephant jelly and iced grass shavings?

Me: 20 Silk Cut please

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

Watching @TheMorningShow thinking they must’ve known… then spotted what was on in the background and realising they must’ve known 🙊

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@FLE4B4G This was actually on in the background of an episode

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

The funniest thing I’ve seen this year… local Sussex street artist “Wanksy” draws massive cocks and balls round potholes that have plagued this road for months and the council sort them out the next day 🤣🤣🤣

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@Teetosugars Yes. Very.

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

If the end of #LutherTheFallenSun wasn’t the start of the new Bond film I’m going to be furious

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

I wish one of them had the balls to say “yeah it’s wrong but the lure of a 6 figure salary was more tempting than taking a stand, so here I am”. Cos that’s what each one them actually fucking means.

#FIFAWorldCup

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

I’ve spent 20 minutes watching the World Cup coverage and it’s lots of people in Qatar saying that the World Cup shouldn’t be held in Qatar.

[Kenny @KennyDownSouth]

Spare a thought for Grant Shapps, who’s just cancelled the order for his new, ergonomic office chair.

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

Jedward there talking more sense than the PM ever did
#GeneralElection2022

[JEDWARD @planetjedward]

After 12 years of Tory fuckery the people deserve a general election!

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@HelpAtGeorge hi. I’m trying to raise a return. The order isn’t showing in my online account. Online won’t accept the order no/ email address combo. The phone line is asking me for an 8-digit order number but both the numbers on my invoice are 9+ digits.
Help please

[Brighton & Hove Albion @BHAFC]

FT: What a match. 😅

[3-3] 📲 https://t.co/S3j1TIvOB3 // #BHAFC 🔵⚪️

[We Are Brighton @wearebrighton]

Alexa, where is the Champions League Final 2024 being held? #BHAFC

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@HarlequinMids All good here thanks. How’s life treating you?

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@Kendomac Many happy returns x

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@KushlasBySanaer Utterly dead behind the eyes. I wonder if that’s as a consequence of who he’s married to or that’s what enabled him to marry her

[Sammy Dizzle @calamitysam]

@KushlasBySanaer I have now. Wow.