Cal

all thoughts are my own

[Cal @calb3rt]

Happy Mother's Day to Lynette. Lynette is the best for many reasons, but mainly for when I was in 7th grade and she left work on the first day of her new job to take me to school when I missed the bus because I was playing on Microsoft Paint.

[Cal @calb3rt]

@GovTimWalz PLEASE STOP TWEETING AND START ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING

[Cal @calb3rt]

@MayorFrey Ok tweeting didn’t work. Now what?

[Cal @calb3rt]

There is no Five Below in heaven

[Pitbull @pitbull]

Biggest room in the world…

Room for improvement 💯

[John Wicker Park @phonybone]

I’ve pooped in gas stations you wouldn’t even pee in

[Cal @calb3rt]

My major takeaway after visiting three amusement parks this summer is that there are still a lot of goths. Who knew?

[Cal @calb3rt]

Good Burger is funniest movie ever created. Unfollow me if you disagree.

[Derrick Holt @TheDerrickHolt]

This is what I would swear on if I were ever elected President

[Gourmet Food @GourmetPorn]

Authentic Philly cheese steak- Philadelphia, PA.

[Cal @calb3rt]

@elsaknight_ Explanation now or delete your account

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

This my last year being gay

[Cal @calb3rt]

New strategy to get your choirs to sing well:

“If you sing perfectly, I’ll drink this honey mustard.”

[Cal @calb3rt]

Everything I know about owls I learned against my will :)

[Cal @calb3rt]

I don’t care if I’m meeting the president immediately upon landing, you will NEVER catch me wearing business attire on a plane.

[Cal @calb3rt]

What do you do when your boyfriend’s most recent search on TikTok is “Howie Mandel prolapsed anus”

[Cal @calb3rt]

I am officially “the playground that was brand new when I was in elementary school is being replaced” years old.

[Cal @calb3rt]

@EvanHansmeier This is gonna be HUGE, guys!!!!!

[Cal @calb3rt]

@BwooksCwoss All. Majority rules.

[Cal @calb3rt]

Should I start using a planner in 2022? Is it worth it? Will I follow through?

[Cal @calb3rt]

Today a student told me his “gay awakening” was Shaggy in the live action Scooby-Doo. Do you agree?