Caleb Needham

Possibly the funniest guy you’ll ever meet

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

My Twitter game is so weak that I feel like I’m tweeting to myself most of the time

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

I’m not hinting at anything but “the man by aloe black” started playing when I walked into Kroger

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

No cap, I just saw a squirrel with a beard and it was awesome

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

Living with roommates is always interesting. No one tells you what’s going on but there will be clues. One day there’s “foot fungal” cream on the kitchen counter. 4 days later I see “cleaner with bleach” sitting next to the shower. Shower shoes it is for the rest of the lease!

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

I wonder how many people at the “no kings” protest were the same ones in the streets burning down and looting cities during the “George floyd” protests

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

College is cool because everyone parties, chills, and just vibes as a group while getting their studies in. Once you graduate it all of a sudden turns into an all out virtual war of Democrat versus Republican on social media

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

Disney adults actually give me the creeps

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

I think I would rather live on an island full of monkeys and no humans rather than be in a relationship with a feminist

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

I volunteered for a special Olympics basketball tournament. The lady running it told everyone to play normal basketball and not ease up. I’ll never forgot, I swapped one of the special Olympic players and the whole crowd gasped in disgust. I’ve never forgot that moment

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

To clarify, “luts hysterical” = “it’s”

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

Our government has to be hiding something about this Maduro extraction. Iuts hysterical hard for me to believe that the president of Venezuela was chilling in his house in a Nike jumpsuit. Bro had to be naked or something and then the military put that on him

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

No treadmill is safe after new years

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

Sorry for spelling tic-tacs wrong @tictac

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

I wish I could post this stuff live for no one to see, I just saw this guy pop half a box of his tik-taks like it was nothing

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

I started going to a new gym where the saunas are in the locker rooms. The ratio during my sauna sessions is awful

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

New goal for 2026 and beyond: never fly @SpiritAirlines ever again. Let’s ride

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

There was also a 6 year kid behind me on my connecting flight singing “see you again” about Paul Walker and I actually started to tear up slightly

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

There was a lady on my connecting flight that had a better mustache than me. Game respect game.

[Caleb Needham @caleb18_]

I find my seat on my flight, next to a lady and her husband. She says to me “thank the lord you aren’t fat, my husband likes the window seat and so I take the middle and I always get stuck by the fat guy”. In reflection that is probably the nicest thing someone could say to me.