This is why as a divorce lawyer, I constantly shout; COHABIT.
I didn’t say go and do weekend or one week together in a hotel.
Live with that man for at least 6months, a year or more together.
Face life issues together.
One person should be sick and hospitalized.
Know how this person looks in the morning on a random Wednesday.
Know if this person washes plates at night after eating or keeps it to the next morning and if you can tolerate this.
Know if this person presses toothpaste from the middle or from under.
Be with this person when something goes wrong and see if you can stand their reaction.
Know if this person prefers soup in a bowl different from swallow or eats them together (on dates the person won’t be comfortable to do this but at home, the masks come off).
Know what she looks like without all the makeup, false lashes, wigs and nails. See her at her natural state; natural hair, no nails, no makeup and find out whether she’s still the most beautiful woman to you.
See him when money is hard and he can’t take you and your friends to weekly dinner and whether it’s him you love or his money.
But you people will date one month, go on few dates to eat pasta and snap cute pictures, your friends will do “aww”, next thing you’re married. Less than a year later you’re calling to ask me “Barr please can we get divorced even though we haven’t been married up to a year?, I never knew he was like this”.
Forget pleasing society, know who you want to marry by living with them before you marry.
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.