Caleb Paseur🦚✈️

Auburn Alumni | Samuel Ginn College of Engineering | Huntsville Native

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

My neighbor was leaving for vacation and said, "Hey, hold down the fort while I'm gone."

I did not know this was a figure of speech.
I am a samurai.
A fort is a fort.

I made a perimeter map.
I checked the fence line twice a day, at dawn and at dusk.
I memorized the delivery truck's schedule.
I identified the enemy. It was a raccoon.
We engaged three times. I will not say who won.

On the fourth night, a storm came.
A fort is weakest in a storm.
So I stood watch on his porch from 9 PM to 2 AM, in the rain.
His security camera saw me.
His wife, who had not left yet, called my phone. "What are you doing?"
"Holding down the fort," I said.
There was a long silence.
"Do you... want a flashlight?"

She brought me a flashlight and a thermos of coffee.
She did not laugh.
She said, "The fort thanks you."

When my neighbor came home, I handed him a full report.
Fence secure. Deliveries normal. Raccoon situation ongoing.
He read the whole report standing in his driveway.
Then he straightened his back, looked me in the eye, and said:
"Well held, soldier."

Now, whenever anyone on our street goes on vacation, they come to me first.
They say the words formally, like a transfer of command.
"The fort is yours."
I accept.
I have held down eleven forts.

Last week, I found a badge in my mailbox.
The neighborhood had made it for me.
It says FORT COMMANDER.

I did not ask for this rank.
I will not give it back.
I wear it on patrol.

[Barred and Bearded @RileeDHarrison]

“AI is going to replace you”

Oh yeah? I’d like to see AI email “please see attached” and forget to attach the attachment.

[AU_Barner2010 @AU_Barner2010]

War Damn Eagle 😎 🦅🐅

[Pardon My Take @PardonMyTake]

Erling Haaland Crushing golf balls into the ocean listening to Ella Langley

America has rubbed off

[Sidelines - USMNT 🇺🇸 @SSN_USMNT]

Yes. And this

[Just T.J. the Army Vet @thomas_garrard]

We joke about winning the life lottery, because we were born in the USA, but it’s not far from the truth.

These visitors here for the World Cup are getting to experience what we often take for granted.

I live in Alabama. I can start in Mobile and drive north for 5 hours, and still be in Alabama.

My state has beautiful sandy beaches, and also has the foothills of the Appalachians. In between, we have a super speedway that pushes the limits of American muscle. Talladega.

NASA is here. The Army’s rotary wing flight school is here.

We have a festival every year to celebrate peanuts. We celebrate the harvest of a crop with funnel cakes and music.

2 teams from my state are currently in the College World Series, and that isn’t even our most popular sport.

Don’t even get me started on football Saturdays in the fall. It’s something else entirely.

My state is just 1 of 50 states that are all equally wonderful.

This country is awesome, and I do love it so. 🇺🇸

[BirminghamSports @BirminghamSport]

Argentina vs. Iceland was a massive success. What other events should Jordan-Hare host?

[Caleb Paseur🦚✈️ @caleb_paseur]

@JoshPateCFB More like Saban/bama losing to UCF en route to a national championship berth

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Apple has landed the rights to turn ‘MISTBORN’ into a film franchise & ‘THE STORMLIGHT ARCHIVE’ into a TV series.

Brandon Sanderson will write, produce and consult on all projects.

(Source: https://t.co/Ka6RvxmT3S)

[AU_Barner2010 @AU_Barner2010]

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas 🎄🎁 🎅�

[Savannah @HeySavannahZ]

I just found out how many deviled eggs I am eating on Thursday.

All I can say is wow.

[BARNING HARD @IAMBARNINGHARD]

Don’t let @Disney’s beef with @YouTubeTV distract you from the fact that the @espn app is straight up butt cheeks

[FOX College Hoops @CBBonFOX]

RT if your team is UNDEFEATED 💥

Before it's too late.

[Auburn Basketball @AuburnMBB]

BOO 👻

[SEC Shorts @SECShorts]

If they sing to you, you're season dies. The barbershop quartet returns.

presented by: @renasant

[Caleb Paseur🦚✈️ @caleb_paseur]

Can Coleman is just the best. That’s all there is

[AuburnBunker @AuburnBunker]

“Explain @SECOfficiating to me without using any words.” Sure— this meme sums it up nicely:

[Caleb Paseur🦚✈️ @caleb_paseur]

Get me out of this game….. please

[Caleb Paseur🦚✈️ @caleb_paseur]

Is anyone keeping stats on the game tonight?

[Cam Newton @CameronNewton]

THÅÑK ŸØÜ @AuburnFootball‼️
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#ñøtFØRłïkëšJŪŠTførŁÏFĒ
-1ØVĒ🤟🏾