Cali Native

Old enough to know better. My kids mom and my dog's human.

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

That sound.. 😅

[Cali Native @cali_calinative]

@SaltyRoyalMemes That is so bad it was hard to watch.

[Bear Of The Day! @BearOTD_]

Today’s Bear of the Day is Salt from Polar Park in Norway!

Salt is a female Albino Eurasian Brown Bear who lives at the park with her brother, Pepper! At seventeen years old, Salt tends to be rather lazy, but is still curious and adventurous at times! #beartwt

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Hummingbird chick hatching

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

Life will always find a way, no matter the obstacles..

[Cali Native @cali_calinative]

@hrrysgreysuit The fact that the ads have to use pictures of her from over 10 years ago should be a clue that she is not camera ready to play any role, especially one as a "vixen".

[Cali Native @cali_calinative]

@RNN_RoyalNews Casting Director needs to be fired. She's probably paying for the role.

[北京/上海深圳重庆广州苏州成都杭州武汉南京天津宁波青岛长沙郑州西安东莞佛山温州合肥厦门大连附近工作 @FeelYouHappy]

A truly heartwarming moment Even in the middle of a crowded, chaotic scene, compassion can shine through. A little boy felt lost and frightened, and the guard became his safe place until he could be reunited with his mum. Small kindness, big memories.

[Bexxy @Bexxy__19]

UPDATE ON GERALD AND THE CROW SITUATION:

Things have escalated.

I repeat.

THINGS HAVE FUCKING ESCALATED.

For those of you just joining us, yesterday I accidentally entered into diplomatic relations with a gang of crows after Gerald stole my good spoon.

Well.

This morning I walked outside and Gerald was waiting for me.

Alone.

Standing directly in the middle of my driveway.

No screaming.

No hopping around.

Just staring at me like a tiny feathered loan shark who had come to collect.

I said, “Morning, Gerald.”

He tilted his head.

I gave him a walnut.

He did not eat it.

Instead, this motherfucker picked it up, walked three steps to the left, PUT IT DOWN, and stared at me again.

Message received.

The offering was insufficient.

So I went back inside and got more walnuts.

When I returned…

THERE WERE NINE CROWS.

Nine.

Yesterday there were seven.

Gerald is fucking recruiting.

And they were arranged in a SEMICIRCLE.

This isn’t a bird friendship anymore.

I’m funding organized crime.

I distributed the walnuts because apparently I pay protection money now.

Everything seemed fine until one of the smaller crows tried taking two.

Gerald immediately screamed at him.

The little one dropped the second walnut.

I have accidentally created an economy.

Gerald controls distribution.

There’s a hierarchy.

There are consequences.

I’m pretty sure I witnessed a disciplinary hearing before breakfast.

Then Gerald flew away.

I thought we were done.

WE WERE NOT DONE.

Twenty minutes later I looked outside and there was something sitting where Gerald had been standing.

A bottle cap.

A shiny rock.

And…

MY FUCKING SPOON.

HE RETURNED THE SPOON.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I believe we have successfully negotiated a trade agreement.

Unfortunately, there is now a crow sitting on my mailbox.

So I still cannot get my fucking mail.

I tried approaching.

He puffed up.

I backed away.

That mailbox belongs to the organization now.

At this point I’m just a tenant.

Anyway, Gerald has officially been promoted to General Gerald, Commander of the Driveway, First of His Name, Keeper of the Good Spoon, Lord of the Power Line, Collector of Walnuts, and Regional Manager of Whatever The Fuck Is Happening Here.

I’ll keep everyone updated.

But if I suddenly stop posting…

Gerald found out I told you.

[Critically Thinking & Drinking 🧐 🥃🧉🍸🍹🤪 @TheCriticalDri1]

Holy shit the comments 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

💀💀💀💀

[Antidepressant Content @depressionlesss]

Hope this makes your day a little better

[Breanna Morello @BreannaMorello]

This is the best video you’ll see all day❤️

[Ideal Lady @Ideallady5]

The first time he heard his dad's voice, this was his reaction. Some moments are simply unforgettable. ❤️

[Matt Casey 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇧 @MattCas04807118]

The Pakistani Steve Irwin is bloody good! 👏

[JustJamie @OYourNameHereO]

When you think you’re the coolest guy in the parking lot and then this BASSET pulls in…😂😂😂

[Cali Native @cali_calinative]

@BarkJack_ This is her MO, her game: We all know she loves to be in the headlines (will she/won't she) she'll allude to something (whether abuse or he didn't buy her a pony) and keep people guessing and speculating.

[Cali Native @cali_calinative]

@isabelhaugseng This is a fake account.

[Cali Native @cali_calinative]

@RJT0715 @LeahRain77 I'll take my chances in court AFTER my wife/baby are safely delivered. No way am I pulling to the side of the road and waiting for EMS to deliver a baby without the training and equipment to handle any and all emergencies.

[Cris @CrisLee99]

5 anos implorando e o sonho finalmente se tornou realidade... 🐶🐾🥹

[Cali Native @cali_calinative]

Taking a moment to put aside all my worries and problems to feel and express gratitude for everything this country has given to me and my children. I'm truly blessed. Happy 250 Independence Day!