Cal Kristoff

BCHC

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

@jpegmafia Bro wearing fingerless gloves like he in a wheelchair basketball league.

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

Hate when the people on the morning news try to riff. Just tell me what’s going on and keep it moving.

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

I’m a fucking sucker the way I fall for these TikTok recipes. Got my ass out here at Walmart at 6 in the morning buying Greek yogurt and pudding mix.

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

Guy works for an administration who wants to livestream an execution lol

[Mark Meador @MeadorFTC]

Count me among the parents who found themselves scrambling to make their kids cover their eyes while watching a baseball game. A baseball game.

[Tom Jamieson @jamiesont]

You have to apologise for swearing at midnight on the telly in the country that's going to livestream an execution.

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

@orangegcn I just liked the Ellen show tweet to get you further from it

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

Bro is in the back seat of the pedo bus

[marlonhumphrey.eth @marlon_humphrey]

Do yall know this guy? He claims that he’s a billionaire!

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

All the best food comes out when you’re on a glp-1

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

Had a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for the first time in a decade and saw god

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

Nightmare blunt rotation

[Naomi Rohatyn @omibaloney]

Jesus Christ

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

It’s people out there really eating the Jimmy Kimmel salsa

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

I know Jake Paul’s breath stinks

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

Being an adult is realizing the Milky Way bar is F tier candy

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

To the tune of that Elton John song btw

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

I think I’m gonna be an elf, cause a little christmas time

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

Call shawty the heat dome for obvious reasons

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

A powerful heat dome — which will become the strongest on the planet Wednesday — will tower 3.7 miles above Tennessee, drawing extreme heat and humidity into the central U.S.

“I don’t even know what to say anymore,” meteorologist Pete Delkus said. https://t.co/koGO2Vrbpw

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

You’ve just created a million Macklemores

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

I’m the type to buy a bag of Halloween candy for the weekend

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

I think I’m gonna be an elf, cause a little christmas time

[Cal Kristoff @calkristo]

@Fightful I think it’s rad. Wasn’t expecting the call up and I love the idea of Keys leading a ruthless faction. OTM has a pretty cool tag move set and they all look cool as shit together.

[Michael @Socdem_Michael]

She is just the worst. She’s actively rooting for him to lose. Gross behavior.

If he wins she will somehow take credit. If he loses, she will dunk on him and pretend that she would have won.