Alex Hart

outside the cafe by the cracker factory you were practicing a magic trick

[Alex Hart @call_me_xander]

Eyeglass repair is hilarious because everything is tiny and I can’t see shit.

[Alex Hart @call_me_xander]

when I die, bury me underneath 6 feet of Trader Joe’s Honeycrisp Apple Granola amen

[Jan Ochoa @_janjerome]

Sometimes I lay awake and think about how one time a dog man was the special sixth ranger.

[Alex Hart @call_me_xander]

When the person who knows you more than anyone in this world wants to know what came in the CSA.

[Alex Hart @call_me_xander]

25 years from now you’re gonna have an anesthesiologist named Brinkton and you’re just gonna have to deal with it.

[Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker]

"why didn't Sauron put one orc guard at the entrance to Mount Doom" because he could not comprehend someone destroying the ring instead of using it, you dumb asshole. you media-illiterate ass brain. why would you post that. I'm sending this to your boss. im getting you fired

[Alex Hart @call_me_xander]

I haven’t tweeted in a while, but I just said “what the fuck are you? what the fuck are you worth?” to a lamp that wasn’t working. have a great night.

[Nathan W Pyle @nathanwpyle]

it must get so crazy inside the dishwasher

[小島秀夫 @Kojima_Hideo]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🐧

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

Texts from my wife. This damn dog.

[Alex Hart @call_me_xander]

reading this raised my blood pressure

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

here is what. i plan to accomplish today:

2. bark loudly. but at nothing
7. lose my ball under the couch
7b. politely ask the human. to get my ball
3. immediately lose it again. under the same couch
4. big nap. you have worked hard
2. repeat

[Scott C. @scottlava]

“Sloppy Folks in the Park” … Just some friends enjoying some sloppy dishes together on a warm summer’s day. Coming to SDCC and the Scott C Shop on June 19th.
.
#sdcc #sandiegocomiccon #thescottcshop #ITYSL #sloppysteaks #ithinkyoushouldleave

[Drew Scanlon @drewscanlon]

We've finally recreated a scene from Minority Report, but it's the one where Tom Cruise does future drugs and watches old videos of his family.

[Nathan W Pyle @nathanwpyle]

Nooo those are PANTS
- my toddler screaming as we tried to put her in a denim jacket

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Asking the man next to me on the plane if he’d like to watch ‘Blade 2’ with me on my phone.

[lewisjwr ☆★ @lewisjwr]

Spotted this continuity error in TITANIC.

As the ship is sinking this guy starts singing “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio. The Titanic sank in 1912, “Gangsta’s Paradise” wasn’t released until 1995, over 80 years AFTER Titanic sank. A bit of an embarrassing mistake really 😬😬

[Jade @The_Teal_Mask]

Wrong

[The Cinegogue @TheCinegogue]

weirdos and milk