callie orourke

🦁

[callie orourke @callieorourke]

@clairejwoodrow rude

[corinna kopf @CorinnaKopf]

how is nobody talking about this??

[relatable @byreIatable]

How did I go to several different classes in high school for a total of 7 hours a day. And then even do clubs/sports activities after that. I can barley wake up at 11 am and go to one class at 3pm now

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

I tried to end 2018 with a random act of kindness but the guy behind me at Starbucks refused to pay for my coffee.

[Meredith Frost @MeredithFrost]

Best thing you’ll see today: Macaulay Culkin returns as Kevin from ‘Home Alone’ in Google ad

[fat motorcycle twins truther. theyre not dead @fart]

my ultimate goal is to never see any tweets again

[Elle Mills @millselle]

person: oh wait, i thought you and ______ dated
me: thank you
person: so you did?
me: no but it warms my heart that you thought i could pull that off

[Sydney @bassett_sydney]

My current body type is like you can sorta tell I work out but you can also tell that I don’t say no when someone offers me a cookie

[Haily @hailyyy89]

I just wanna say Carrie Underwood gave 13 year old me the WRONG IMPRESSION of what you can do when a man fucks you up. Like I thought all females just went around destroying their man’s car when they cheat, but apparently that’s “illegal behavior”. Total rip off.

[JT @jtsmelly]

My friend thought I used to be a bartender so I told him I knew cocktail tricks and bartended for the first time at his wedding yesterday

[martha @mxmsworld]

Next week will basically be the end of January.. February is like 2 days long. So March will come super fast so will Easter. Summer will come and go then Christmas. Basically 2018 is finished.

[Colt McCarthy @colton_mccarthy]

“Use your previous exams to study for the final” It’s hard to do that Nancy when I basically got every question wrong.

[relatable @byreIatable]

I am rapidly running out of tomorrows on which to begin studying

[Shafeeq @Y2SHAF]

when my mum asks me how much I paid for something, I reduce the price by 50% of what I bought it for

[lily @lilzlozz]

This calls for my favorite joke of all time:

Lawyer: so it says here that you want to divorce Minnie because she was... extremely silly?

Mickie: no, I said she was fucking goofy https://t.co/07ymxAxdNL