Arianna Hand

It's simple. I'm chill and we will probably end up best friends. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Joanna @iamjojo]

Put a bikini on your body- BOOM- you summer ready. No diet or workouts necessary. YOLO. Enjoy.

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

HIM: Knock Knock ME: who's there? HIM: you're a whore! 😂

When your coworker runs out of insults.... #nicetry #stillfunny

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

I could write a book on what excuses "boys" give me for why they do what they've done...wait! No I can't. They all say the same thing....

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

Told my daughter my mom was being a brat... she looked at me like I set her favorite toy on fire, then said "don't say that she's your mom!"

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

Twitter likes to ask me whats happening... NOTHING twitter, NOTHING! I'm a homebody who likes to avoid the human race 🤷🏻‍♀️ #awkward #idgaf

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

Your eyesight & memory ever been so bad that you FORGOT where you put your glasses but you're too damn BLIND to find them?! #fuckglasses #jk

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

Sooo this thing happened to me this morning.... I had to get up, get dressed and get to work. 🙄 #ihateadulting

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

@uhohitsgeoff Bahahaha ruuuuunnn

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

Do I have a sign strapped to my back that says "gullible"? If so, can we pencil in "will destroy you if you cross me"?!

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

When he tells you he loves you after a week of knowing you.... It's a trap!!! RUN!! 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

When you wake up from a nap and feel like you've slept into an alternate universe.

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

Also, never overeat mustard. BIG MISTAKE! 🤢

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

When you nail the wedding gig for MUA...

[Arianna Hand @callme_ririd]

You know you're getting old when you watch a bird and a squirrel chase each other for 15 minutes..... 🤷🏻‍♀️