Chris (Lars)

I think the two worst things you could say about someone [me] are that they're not funny and a shitty tipper

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

@Airbnb @AirbnbHelp Our Airbnb was burglarized last night in Miami and nothing is being done to help the situation. Would you feel safe staying in this home? Thousands of dollars worth just stolen.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

@Airbnb @AirbnbHelp Our Airbnb in Miami was burglarized right when we left and conveniently on our last night of the reservation. Nothing is being done. Does this make your customers feel safe?

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

@ErasTourResell I would love to take my neice to the concert!!! Her first sentence was “shake it off” and I told her I would make sure we were able to see Taylor when she comes to our city this summer! Please pick me and help make me the best gay uncle 🤞

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

Now @netflix is gaslighting all of us about #LoveIsBlindLIVE saying our devices are fucked up as if Floor is Lava wasn’t streaming perfectly fine at 6:58

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

If this #LoveIsBlindLIVE doesn’t happen @netflix better let us start sharing passwords again

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

Thank you @taylorswift13 for spending 25 hours with me this year on @Spotify. You are my #1. #spotifywrapped #ithinkSHEknows

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

@pizzahut your pizza came very very burnt tonight and I am very disappointed. We could barely eat it. What gives??? Isn’t cheese white, not black?

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

I unlocked $32 Rush tickets for #Volta at @Cirque on @TodayTix! Unlock here: https://t.co/xaVkojXabx #TodayTixRush

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

Coining the term "resting 'over it' face" to describe myself.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

Meal prepping will never make sense to me. That's some true white people shit. Yeah, I'll eat the same food all week out of Tupperware just to save time and seem like I have my shit together. Dumb.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

Shout out to Catholicism for getting people to wear ashes around on their foreheads all day 😂

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

@93XRT PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW TO ACQUIRE LP TICKETS IN CHICAGO - WILL DO L-P-THING!!!

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

@aschumley That's what I'm saying! I don't get this trend.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

The prayers don't mean shit. Speak up, act out and make obvious the white supremacy - I'm going to try harder to do so myself.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

@kyles03 It's just me being crazy. I think someone being proposed to, then X amount of time later, them proposing back is silly and redundant.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

I'm seeing gay couples propose to each other. As in each 'partner' gets to bend the knee. I find this dumb. Unpopular opinion? You're gay.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

PSA: Lily from The House Bunny is also the girl from Cheetah Girls and also from 3LW #themoreyouknow #babyimadoright #cheetahsisters

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

My college friends have almost known me for 10 years already.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

I've already accosted one person defending Taylor Swift's new song.

[Chris (Lars) @callmelarson]

When you're drunk as fuck in the bar bathroom and check your phone saying "how is it 3:30 in the morning?!" And its actually the afternoon 😑