As I get older, I’m starting to realise that the purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. In any bond how much they care about you is found in how much they consider you.
You are not meant to train a grown person to be empathetic. If you keep having to explain why your feelings matter, the issue is not your delivery, it is their capacity. Empathy is chosen, not forced.
In a toxic relationship, speaking your truth brands you as the villain, while staying silent slowly erases you. That’s emotional control disguised as love.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to speak up for yourself when someone is crossing your boundaries or dismissing your feelings. You are your biggest advocate. No one else can read your mind or feel what you feel.
A woman who stays silent after being disrespected is not weak. She's aware. Silence isn't always fear. Sometimes it's restraint. Sometimes it's the moment a woman realizes that explaining herself again won't bring respect, only exhaustion. She's already spoken before. She's already tried to be understood. She's already named the hurt and watched it be dismissed. This time, she falls quiet. Not because she has nothing to say... but because she finally understands who she's talking to.
A weak woman argues endlessly, hoping to begk chosen. A strong woman observess behavior, takes notes, and makes decisions accordingly. When a woman goes silent after disrespect, it usually means one thing: She's done negotiating her worth. And by the time her silence is noticed.. she's already halfway gone.
the truth about someone who genuinely loves you is that they ALWAYS pay attention to how their actions affect your feelings. they’re also very aware and considerate of how they treat you in any type of situation.
UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH: People love saying “you teach people how to treat you” but never say “people reveal who they are by how they treat others.” One puts all the weight on the victim. The other requires real accountability.
i can’t fuck with people that don’t understand the principle of things. yeah the situation may be small but it’s about the principle. out of all the ways you could move, you choose that way?
My therapist told me:
“When a person grows up feeling unseen, they learn to love by over-giving. They pour into everyone else, hoping that, one day, someone will finally pour back into them. So they become the care taker. The fixer. The one who shows up, even when no one shows up for them.”
And the hardest part? Deep down, they're not trying to be strong. They're just waiting for someone to do for them what they've spent their whole life doing for everyone else.
A man who only wants a woman’s softness but refuses to hold her hard emotions isn’t a safe partner, he’s a selective admirer.
If she learns that her pain overwhelms him, she stops trusting him long before she stops loving him. The moment she has to suffer alone in the relationship, the relationship is already over.
In a relationship, you can't just do whatever you want.
You have to always think about the other person.
And that's what a lot of people don't understand.
Too many people want the benefits of partnership without the responsibility.
They want someone to come home to but freedom to do whatever.
They want loyalty but refuse to be accountable.
They want commitment but don't want to compromise.
That's not a relationship, that's selfishness.
Being in a relationship means your decisions affect someone else now.
Before you go out all night, consider how they might feel.
Before you make big decisions, include them in the conversation.
Before you prioritize others, remember who should come first.
It's not about losing yourself.
It's about considering someone else while being yourself.
A real partnership requires:
Communication before making moves.
Consideration before taking action.
Respect for how your choices impact them.
You can't demand loyalty while living like you're single.
You can't expect them to consider you while you do whatever you want.
You can't have a healthy relationship with a selfish mindset.
If you're not ready to think about someone else, you're not ready for a relationship.
Stay single until you understand what partnership actually requires.
an ego partner will only love you when you're playing the role that satisfies their ego. an evolutionary partner will love you in your mess and not just at your best. they will not judge your raw unholy expression. they will appreciate your petals and your thorns. they will love you in your shadow and light. they will call you out when you need to grow but they will lovingly hold space as you navigate the multiverse of your humanness
Consideration.
If you really love someone, you consider them. You think before you speak, and you move with an awareness of how your actions affect their peace. You care about what makes them feel safe, not just what makes you feel good. If you truly love them, you think about how your actions will affect them.