Phlip

Something about yourself

[Phlip @callmephlip]

My brain forces continuity into unrelated entertainment franchises.
F'rinstance: I spent the second half of @F1Movie angry that #damsonidris wasn't selling crack to #bradpitt

[Phlip @callmephlip]

@B1TuckerCarlson It's cultural!

[Phlip @callmephlip]

We should have known the Warriors were gonna be toast as punishment for @StephenCurry30 being behind that Good Times bullshit

[Phlip @callmephlip]

I should be more wary when things re-present themselves...

True Story©... Return of the Moose

https://t.co/h8VUlUUTCZ

[Phlip @callmephlip]

It's simple mathematics...
You either think Lil Fuqboi Da Xan Gawd is the best rapper doing it, or you're a hater who doesn't know music

[Phlip @callmephlip]

There used to be a time where even DISCUSSION of gambling was for degenerates and criminals, but now that every third commercial on every channel is for a sports betting app, @espn has to dedicate 1/3 of every hour of programming to it. Weird

[Phlip @callmephlip]

Actions have consequences

True Story©... Dead Man Walking
https://t.co/DpKqc2v8we

[Phlip @callmephlip]

... because every story can technically be viewed as "to be continued"

True Story©... The Ballad of Jiggaboo Jackson
https://t.co/ze73ETGAHk

[Phlip @callmephlip]

Electile Dysfunction: when you consistently have the worst possible candidates, yet still convince yourself that they're the best and brightest.
America suffers from Electile Dysfunction

[Phlip @callmephlip]

I'm still not forgiving y'all for letting people get popular just for (loudly) eating food in the front seat of the car.
Fuck y'all for that

[Phlip @callmephlip]

Did she say what I THOUGHT she said?
(No, no she didn't)

True Story©... 24 Hours to Live!
https://t.co/4IkD8Ei5rQ

[Phlip @callmephlip]

@365OTG "you think you slick you punkass blasphemous dopefiend bitch"

[Phlip @callmephlip]

The saga continues

True Story©... The Treasure Hunt pt II

https://t.co/9mrl32t4aF

[Phlip @callmephlip]

@Nise814 I have always freely admitted this

[Phlip @callmephlip]

@Tendin2

[Phlip @callmephlip]

Moe Phillips gets Moe Phillips'd

True Story©... The M-O-Equalizer II

https://t.co/DLCqidglYm

[Phlip @callmephlip]

Just some "neighborhood dad" things

True Story©... My Little Pony

https://t.co/6jAvcllJx2

[Phlip @callmephlip]

@Tendin2 The line outside 229..

[Phlip @callmephlip]

Foiled again...
... again

True Story©... Back to Vegas

https://t.co/QyPKsvTcMA

[Phlip @callmephlip]

"How bad is your ADHD?"
Last Thursday, I had a staredown with a squirrel next to the stoplight leaving my neighborhood for so long that I missed that the light had gone green and back red.
Then another squirrel came...
... and I missed the fucking light again.