alison⛲️

they/she

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

Maryland drivers really out here honking at me for stopping at red lights

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

Eating lunch in my car in a sunny suburban strip mall parking lot is inner child work imo. Feels like hanging out with teenage me

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

Uber driver just burped

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

I fear wordle the way boomers fear pronouncing chipotle

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

Got a lot of tweets about couscous in the drafts

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

Don’t worry babe I’m not depressed there’s vegan deli meat in the fridge

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

death by stress stomach

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

I never consented to looking at Jack Harlow this often

[˗ˏˋ ryn ˎˊ˗ @onlineryn]

you want me to go to college. the place where mitski wrote class of 2013.

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

my dreams are simple. one day i would like to rest my head on very large gnocchi

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

knit in r so much but still dont have a sweater :-( or working code :-)

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

Was standing in the break room for my daily ritual of drinking water while staring at the keurig when Recently Hired Accounting Man came in, picked up a coffee cup, looked at me looking at the keurig, and then promptly walked out with just the cup. The power I felt

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

The absolute strength, resilience, and bravery of declining my coworker’s offer of free diet coke

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

playing mitski in lab because the ants seem a little too happy today

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

My heart skips a beat thinking about fecal transplants

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

why lay in bed feeling sorry for myself when i can watch frog video

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Humanity can still prevent the planet from getting even hotter, but it would require a major shift: If the world managed to stop adding CO2 to the atmosphere by around 2050, warming could conceivably stabilize at about 1.5 degrees Celsius, the report says. https://t.co/1wYFtTxFPW

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

I just know DMEM tastes like cranberry juice

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

Crying and listening to airplanes by B.O.B feat Hayley Williams (in no particular order) is becoming alarmingly routine on my morning commute

[alison⛲️ @calm_lasagna]

sad goblin summer :(