“You skipped your husband’s birthday? Understandable, understandable. Where is he? Florida. What’s he doing? Working. What are you doing? ‘Priorities.’ That’s right sister! That's right sister!” (via whydemonsdance)
imagine walking into someone's fucking room where u don't even LIVE and ur a GUEST and you knock over her water glass on her nightstand that her dad got her and it breaks!!!!!! know ur fuckin place
everyone assumes that he is the one breaking up with all these 25-yr-olds. what really happens is that once a woman's brain finishes developing, she realizes she doesn't wanna be with leonardo dicaprio