Your boyfriend inherited the superpower from his father who died saving Earth from a meteor, so now he can transform his body into whatever he wants!
You’d be thinking he’ll pursue his father’s heroic path, but your unemployed big bro needs a fleshlight😮💨
How your DIRTY PIG UNEMPLOYED HOMOPHOBIC dad sleeps after an entire night of BED-BREAKING SWEATY sex with your husband (he was drunk and mistakened your husband’s bubble butt as your mom’s, but husband is now your stepmom so that’s okay):