Maura Koenig

A woman shouldn’t have to be hit by a car to learn she had rabies but that is where we are in America

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

My boss during a team meeting with our new intern: Lets go around and say something about yourself.

Me: My passions are UD basketball, Taylor Swift and Speedway hotdogs

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

don’t speak to me on october 21st I WILL be volatile and unpredictable

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

My brain still thinks Anne Hathaway has big curly hair in real life like she does in Princess Diaries. So when I see a picture of her, I wonder how long it took to straighten her hair

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

It’s truly a wonder why I’m single

[ESPN @espn]

DAYTON STUNS No. 4 KANSAS AT THE BUZZER 😱

First top-5 win for the Flyers since 1984.

[Mustapha Amzil @MustaphaAmzill]

Great team win! On to the next one✈️

[Chicks in the Office @ChicksInTheOff]

Mood #RedTaylorsVersion

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

yeah so all too well ten minute version has me all but convinced I’ve never really been in love like THAT

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

This is my last day of life before #RedTaylorsVersion. Midnight. Tonight.

[Betches @betchesluvthis]

I haven't been canceling nearly enough plans lately, a bitch is tired

[Ria @BarstoolRia]

Honestly if you don’t like bologna I can’t fuck with you

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

I don’t know if I could be in a relationship with someone that has an android phone

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

At the start of every bachelorette season I think about Unemployed Grant and hope he’s doing well #TheBachelorette

[Jared Freid @jtrain56]

I’ve been watching The Nanny and Fran Drescher had “it .” I don’t know what “it” is but you know right away that she has it.

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

@dana_lud Died

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

When the depression catches up to you

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

@dana_lud

[Betches @betchesluvthis]

Forget hot girl summer, I'm doing Cruella summer. Bringing my dog everywhere, taking 1 pic and then leaving events dramatically, blaming all my bad decisions on my alter ego.

[Maura Koenig @cane_egg]

@tokenCEO Nope... my degree is in high school math education. Taught for two years and hated it. Now I work in software as a system admin and love it

[Seth Trueger @MDaware]

“screw it, we’re doing oreo-flavored oreos“

[Ria @BarstoolRia]

“On the 9th day God created the hotdog”- @NjTank99