boots.boi

one third of an elite crime-fighting trio backed by an anonymous millionaire

[boots.boi @cankerking]

I guess I'll die another day 🙄

[boots.boi @cankerking]

@prasejeebus

[boots.boi @cankerking]

It’s crazy when colleagues greet me with the incorrect name. Hello? I’m literally the main character of the office

[boots.boi @cankerking]

Not Carly edging me for her album

[griffin🎃 @ohiojesustwink]

Big is moving to Danceteria

[boots.boi @cankerking]

@brandon_onbrand I got something I wanna talk about 👄

[boots.boi @cankerking]

The sun is shining and I’m blasting brand new Madonna (this is a time-agnostic tweet)

[boots.boi @cankerking]

Davy Jones’ Shocker 🐙🖖🌊

[jizzy vessel @spunkchili]

LOVING cock is HARD, BEING cock IS harder!

[boots.boi @cankerking]

@GayStoopKid I contain multitudes

[D! @thissweetd]

Go abtholutely off thith

[boots.boi @cankerking]

Someone on a notorious homosexual hookup application said they “love” my “curves”

[boots.boi @cankerking]

Imagine being in a “whatever works best for you” competition and finding out you’re up against Kevin or Chloe

[boots.boi @cankerking]

And yes, this was a big joke in the newest scary movie. It’s odd that there’s not one gay writer/actor/producer to help clarify. But whateverrr

[boots.boi @cankerking]

A very glaring element of modern gay jokes is that straight people don’t understand how Grindr works, and haven’t thought to ask an actual gay person. It’s always “I’m swiping right on all the twinks” or something to that degree

[boots.boi @cankerking]

We need to mandate gym steam room etiquette training, bc why was someone just laying down in there?

[boots.boi @cankerking]

This was a joke btw

[boots.boi @cankerking]

So why am I getting denied from “absolutely positively no loads refused” cumdump meetups? Frick my heinous broke fat chungus life the haus down

[boots.boi @cankerking]

So why am I getting denied from “absolutely positively no loads refused” cumdump meetups? Frick my heinous broke fat chungus life the haus down

[boots.boi @cankerking]

@jjjacus But we all know: no one survives modelland

[boots.boi @cankerking]

Nothing wrong with that btw!!!!

[boots.boi @cankerking]

I fall in love with 90 guys per minute