Can’t Johnson

Hottest out the midwest

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Sum casual tn

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

My girl got bunions

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

I go to church, not for the word, just to leave with a guaranteed freak

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Knew it.

[gi 🫍 @karlsasson]

if you're a caps fan in dc please go fill this out this shit is literally about to turn teal

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@Funemployment4L Warios is W eats you’re bugging

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Winding down for the night

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Murakami lowkey got that kimchi flowing man

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@BigKidDinner I’m sticking it in lowkey

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Slight Strava Dox since we felt good tonight + signed up for PGH in the spring

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@RLHoitzIV ✋😄

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

#NewProfilePic rebrand time
Danforth died, Wood died, time for Johnson

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Iowa City, IA, I am inside of you (bar is only me + my brothers during happy hour)

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@willsnowblower Undoubtedly seeing this on Saturday fitz tonight

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@local_hooperr Personally otw to grab a spicy chicken biscuit and chicken minis 😼

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

I don’t drink coffee I just post my meat on my story and try and take it down as fast as possible to get my adrenaline pumping

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Siri suggestions dox #fuckthenewunderdoglogo

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@TJWarrenFanClub Which is worse:
- 32yo burner
- being such a chud that you have to get a screenshot of somebody else’s Whoop to get a respectable Healthspan age🥀

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

It’s not illegal to *be* a monopoly, but the *act* of monopolization is. #foodforthought

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

Black dude at work asked me where the color printer was I said broski it’s #2026 you can use whichever you want

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@JJwiththeshifts Yes dwang I jus realized google gemini sucks now😂😂😂 relatable brooo only in welcome week man

[Can’t Johnson @cannotjohnson]

@JJwiththeshifts @amplifyenjoyer “Imma eater”