cannypug

[humanzee @chimp_mode]

Shaving my balls before a job interview just in case

[cannypug @cannypug]

@Keir_Starmer Shut the fuck up

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Bought a coffee this morning

Black, no milk, no syrup

Someone poured liquid into a cup

Took eleven seconds

Then she flipped the iPad around

30%

35%

40%

For a $6 coffee that took eleven seconds to make

The line behind me was six deep

All watching

30% is the new 0%

Everyone knows it

Nobody says it

I pressed custom

Typed $0

The barista looked at me

The guy behind me looked at me

My wife looked at the ceiling

We left

Went to lunch after

Waiter brought water and bread without being asked

Took our order

Checked on us twice

Refilled drinks

Cleared plates

I tipped 25%

My wife said "you just gave the waiter 25% and the barista nothing"

I said "correct"

She stared at me

I said "one of them did a job. The other one turned an iPad around."

She took the check out of my hands

After lunch we stopped for frozen yogurt

The kids served themselves

Picked their own toppings

Weighed their own cups

I paid by the ounce

Then the screen flipped around

35%

40%

45%

I looked at my seven-year-old who had just done the entire job

I pressed no tip

The teenager behind the counter didn't blink

She already knew

My wife grabbed my arm and walked me out

In the car she was quiet

Then she said "I can never take you anywhere"

I said "just not the places with iPads"

She didn't laugh

But she didn't disagree

Tipping used to mean something

Now it's just a screen that guilt-trips you in front of strangers

I don't negotiate against myself

Not at work

Not at a frozen yogurt shop

Plz fix. Thx.

Sent from my iPhone

[cannypug @cannypug]

The only thing that is guaranteed with life is death. Make the years count.

Have fun, do stupid shit, make money.

Nothing really matters

[cannypug @cannypug]

@civilianweb3 Hi 👋🏼

[cannypug @cannypug]

@ThaEuropeanLad Let’s grow, following back

[cannypug @cannypug]

@sironyeka Following back

[cannypug @cannypug]

@BLEXGUY Yes, following back

[cannypug @cannypug]

@DearS_o_n No one’s coming to save you

[cannypug @cannypug]

@vybhavbhadri Hello, let’s grow together!

[cannypug @cannypug]

@lunarfq Hello!

[cannypug @cannypug]

@Heyyanyaa Let’s all grow our accounts, following back

[cannypug @cannypug]

@codewithpri Let’s all grow. Following back

[cannypug @cannypug]

Don’t buy stuff you can’t afford if it is for yourself.
If you are buying your parents a gift, spend your monthly pay check on it.
You can see the smile on their face and show them you love them. That’s priceless.

Don’t be buying Balenciaga for yourself. Waste of money G

[cannypug @cannypug]

@ick_real I still do, we’re just starting out. Following back to grow together

[cannypug @cannypug]

@indicatorfn Yes .

[cannypug @cannypug]

@livewithnoregrt The part where I hate my current situation

[cannypug @cannypug]

@ick_real Where’s the catch?

[cannypug @cannypug]

@nuradeeeen Let’s all connect. Following back ❤️

[cannypug @cannypug]

@Dearme2_ Claiming this. I know it will happen