“I feel so fortunate that I got to see him recently. I sadly didn't know that after saying goodbye and hugging him that evening, I would be saying goodbye forever. It's heartbreaking”
— Niall Horan via instagram 🤍
it’s hard to describe how I’m feeling right now it’s been horrible to hear about all of the things he did but one direction was such a special part of my life that I will always be grateful for emotions are complex
man. it feels so weird being in your 20s mourning a celebrity who you once grew up with. shaped your teenage hood and you made life long friends out of. at the same time not excusing who he became but also trying to grieve who he once was.
i resent the man he has become but the heart of the little fangirl in me who used to cheer him on feels so heavy that he didn’t seek help let alone passed away
a reminder that you’re allowed to show empathy and mourn someone who was once a big part of your life years ago but isn’t anymore. that’s human. and you can also feel sad but also think of and respect victims of someone’s actions. you can feel both at the same time.
i am not grieving an abuser/groomer. it’s that he was such a big part of my formative years and part of the band that is the foundation of a lot of things in my life - these two feelings can coexist but are so hard to wrap my head around
i have been a part of the one direction community since i was 13. i am 26 now. for half of my life, they have been a vital part in my life. i am sending love to all my one direction girlies right now who, like me, are navigating the news and processing their feelings.
its so weird coming from a place where i grew up with one direction and always look back to those days with love but also the fact that he was an awful person all this time there are many mixed feelings rn
can't put into words about how i feel. so overwhelmed and mixed feelings. but i deeply sympathize with liam's family. fr he's been a major piece of my childhood, so ik i'd grieve a lot