Emily C

You cant tell me how much fun I can have

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

Today at Marshall’s I realized I don’t want to shop in the juniors and I definitely don’t want to shop in the women’s so pretty much I’ll hang out in the candle isle because nobody tries to label me there.

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“I wanna be more bonified” cam

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“A thousand watt smile.” -Alec

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“That guy looks like he would have an ex wife” @sam

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“He’s just the person I wanna be when I grow up, ya know.” -Korn, about her fiancé 😭

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“I just wanted our Christmas morning to not be empty beer cans.” Kelli

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“Where did you get that, the toilet store?”
“No but that’s where I work so fuck you.”
-can

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“You know what else is fucked up? You’ll never be able to receive you’re own ping pong serve.”

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“When I’m at work, my bloodstream is coffee. When I’m not at work, my bloodstream is alcohol.” -Ash

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“So we were making a pelvic floor Tik tok...” @QuesoDipp

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“Witches and serial killers are not the same thing.”

[Britt Bruinsma @BrittBruinsma]

“I wish the super bowl was basketball, I just don’t really like football” -@capisaurusrex

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“Sean Kingston was my last song on MySpace”

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

@Vlen13 we’ve reached the tweeeeter stage of our friendship

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“I wish you could poop and lose 10 pounds...we can all have high aspirations right?” @QuesoDipp

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

Four years later, still true

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

Peanut m&ms and apple cider are keeping me alive right now

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

Just had a dream I got a dog. Woke up with no dog. Going back to sleep.

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

My 1 year old patient is having a rough night and his mom and I just started rapping lose yourself by Eminem to him at midnight to motivate him to go back to sleep - it did not work

[Emily C @capisaurusrex]

“Britters thinks she drinks rainbows on LSD.”

[Grace Elizabeth @G_Brinkerhoff]

America on hour 3 of the Bachelor:

#TheBachelor