captain eli

I like cheese, and otters. Necessarily in that order.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@s7600084 @Ersin0X 👃

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@Ravious101 Fack this kid

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@KDTrey5 @classickUSA ……At the 24 hour fitness maybe.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@GeoffGrammer @JackAtlas619 All the restaurants in New Mexico
serve salsa with corn 🌽. It gives it a nasty raw crunch….oh and then you add the black beans ewwwww🤮

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@GeoffGrammer It’s true! I’ve even seen abuelitas putting whole bowls of corn into the salsa. I thought it was New Mexico tradition or something. It’s vile and disgusting!

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@LoboSam2003 @GeoffGrammer Concina Azul and frontier both have corn 🌽 in the salsa. It’s simply a gross addition to salsa.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@previouscontent @JackAtlas619 @TMACABQ @Brad70668565 The serve corn salsa with black beans
at Frontier.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@lobojonz @JackAtlas619 @previouscontent @Brad70668565 @TMACABQ Ummmm yes,
I’ve seen it served at most restaurants
in New Mexico and it’s disgusting 🤮.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@TMACABQ @previouscontent @JackAtlas619 @Brad70668565 He’s absolutely correct!
Y’all drown that stuff in corn….
It needs to stop:

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@sonsofmonty @DMorton78 Dirtball schmirtball! 🔴⚫️

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@idislikestephen Terrible movie,worst Disney movie ever made,and the soundtrack is hot garbage.
The story is messy and not intended for children. My daughter detests the characters and begs for Frozen/Moana instead. Also I get Diarrhea every time one of the songs play. Yes,I go to Costco a lot.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@chrissyteigen @JoeBiden 💩💨

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@newsbreakApp Probably just hipsters.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@Super70sSports Hooper.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

If you decide to talk on the phone
in a bathroom stall,
I will make loud fart/groaning sounds.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

I love comic con in SD,
it's the only time when you can't tell the homeless people from nerds in costume.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

@GrillLabs
Gloves not only protected my hands from the heat but provided a tenacious grip on my titty-ball chalice👍🏼

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

I'm always amazed at
people's indignant refusal
to courtesy flush.

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

Dave Mathews still alive
and making Diarrhea Music
for fucking turds....
Prince dead.
Life is so unfair!

[captain eli @capt_n_eli]

Went to
Fogo de Chao steakhouse tonight,
I didn't make it 20 mins before I had the wrong kind of Brazilian blowout.