Captain Catfish

Conspiracy Theorist | I train UFC

[daniel @4skip0]

i have to go run some aarons

[Keg. @GratefulKeg]

Type of shit Joe Burrow pop out with right before a 3 game losing streak.

[Kent Blazemore @2Mantooth]

So my first job out of college. I was making 65k with a bonus right. But you don’t realize I don’t actually keep that 65k. Every check there’s taxes that come out for federal and state. And also health insurance. So I’m only taking home a piece of that is what people don’t unders

[Buck @BuckOnTwidder]

got a buddy who sends "lets win" in the groupchat every morning then just kinda chills all day

[Jason @jasonn101019937]

6 instagram stories a day daughter or upside down text hat son

[Sports Season @SportsSeason_]

Shit look like Year 28 Bron

[Mcgregor Forever @mcgregorufc22]

If that kick had made clean contact with Max Holloway's face, the fight would have been over.

[۟ @filmfae]

pressed play on the dark knight at 10:24pm. i don’t know what i was thinking

[Giliann @imissblackmidi]

Just saw 4 white people sitting on a stoop in Bedstuy

[poet @wavstxr]

dis nigga owe me $50 he ain’t watch my instagram story in 3 weeks

[Dame Margera @damienfarronMMA]

Five things that will be said during the Conor McGregor vs Max Holloway fight

"Green trunks for the southpaw"

"5 year layoff"

"Conor looks gigantic"

"Titanium shinbone"

"Joe I'm really hungry, please rub my big fat belly my name is Daniel Cormier and I love eating food during my time on the commentary desk"

[Brews Wayne @paulswaggerr]

What Tony would’ve said about Omar would’ve gotten HBO shut down permanently

[Drank man please @DRANKMANNPLS]

A nigga like me go get ghosted n still like the story #IToldYouWeForever

[Stacin Goins @LCyance]

You don't get no bitches playing soccer in America, that's a real issue that can't be fixed

[༺༻ @fvzzii]

Drunk and high at the same time, drinking champagne on the airplane like cmon fam

[moni @wrappedaroundme]

Right now there’s a white person outside jogging in this weather

[kelbin @pissboymcgee]

I could see myself peacefully exchanging my kids on the weekend with this woman

[latke @latkedelrey]

christopher moltisanti summer:
-relapsing
-hurting people you love
-making bad art that nobody likes
-seeing signs about how doomed you are everywhere

[Beer Enjoyer @YungGiamatti]

Added to the vernacular