Jean-Luc Picard

Starfleet Captain. Donut Fiend.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Supplemental: Though I will say, Commander Riker does have the package that Starfleet wants. Rawr!

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Starfleet seems to have made some kind of mistake. We're supposed to be explorers of the frontier. We can't make package deliveries weekly

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

The replicators on the Enterprise are truly amazing, a wonder of efficiency and accuracy. Except for Mt. Dew. It always tastes wrong.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Look, Lieutenant Fancypants, a fully charged phaser bank ain't nothing when compared to the power of diplomacy. That's some real talk there

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Q has kind of run out of good tricks to pull on the Enterprise. Lately, he's been reduced to pulling the fire alarms in the corridors.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Everyone's talking about that big comet 67P. That's all great and stuff, I'm really impressed. Ever been in one? ;) #StarfleetProblems

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

SF ordered Data to lock my replicator, but let me tell you, no android better put a finger on MY Butterfinger. The line must be drawn here!

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Does the phrase "five-year mission" mean anything to you people?

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

I told the Conn officer to increase speed to warp six. Warp four just feels.....slow.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Captain's Log: Returned from an incursion by a parallel universe, one in which everything is the same, but more boring than the real world.

[Starfleet Operations @StarfleetOps]

USS Stargazer Museum completes roving tour to Andorian system. Get there and catch a piece of living Starfleet history!

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Personal Log: "She sells sea shells by the seashore" fun to try to communicate to the Tamarians. Hours of entertainment was had.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

I've got a localized distortion field following me wherever I go. Aldeberan Whiskey.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

What Admiral thought it a good idea to send me this box of Valentine's chocolates? First of all, it's not even Feb. 14th. Second: creepy!

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Some will attribute my absence to being in the Neutral Zone. Not true. I was on the outer rim the whole time. Get it? 'The outer rim'!

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Subtlety is not a replicator's strong suit. In a blind taste test, Dr. Crusher could not detect the difference between Pepsi Max and Coke.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Counselor Troi came in to tell me she sensed a feeling of great disturbance from within me. She was right. My couch is not level.

[Starfleet Operations @StarfleetOps]

NCC-1701-E diplomatic tour rendezvous NCC-73339, NCC-80101, NCC-76543 ETA 2145 hours.

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Miss me, bitches?

[Jean-Luc Picard @captain_picard]

Let's slingshot around the sun. I want to go back and do the last two weeks over.