Fake Mr. Kelce

Not actually Jason Kelce. English teacher, actor, girl dad. Lifelong suffering 5/5 Philadelphia fan. Eagerly awaiting death and pancakes. We are.

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

Well it's that time again, friends. If anyone is willing to help out with my classroom wish list, I would really appreciate it. You have helped keep my kiddos fed and taken care of the last few years and I can't thank you enough. Please share!
https://t.co/vzmindfkIh

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

Logging back in for the first time since September for a brief, very important announcement:

The Pork Belly Bites and the Cheesecake Bites™ and will be in M lot this weekend.

Go birds.

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

That float commercial makes me reconsider being a football fan

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

And also a catch

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

100000% a catxh

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

@cpmaher17 @crawf34 @tdubbzholla He’s safe in my basement

[Clarence Thomas the Tank Engine @TheRealJChubby]

No really everyone, as your lawyer, I am pretty flippant on here, but this is a moment to be careful about what you say.

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

@ESRosebud @RealMamaEagle Either of you try Xyzal? Been a game-changer for me during this time of year.

[Rosalind @rosalindmar19]

Kurt Vonnegut on buying an envelope

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

@hereliesbaddieb @scheminx Or in a parking lot

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

@SnackMyFridgeUp @ESRosebud @ianfromphilly

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

Why didn’t he kick it out of the endzone??

[Nate Tice @Nate_Tice]

Vikings offense looks like Timothee Chalamet after he saw a slider outside

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

Yikes

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

@noturavghoodrat Didn’t want to deal with the wrong person finding out tbh

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

Three years since the most insane thing a student said to me.

He walks in and asks if they are getting extra credit because “you said we get extra credit when good things happen!”

I had told my kiddos they’ll get extra credit when good things happen to my sports teams.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Queen Elizabeth II died 3 years ago today.

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

If I ever write a book about the crazy things that kids have said to me, that will absolutely be the introduction

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

He walked in like this

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

@noturavghoodrat lol I did not. But I did appreciate him figuring I was staunchly anti Monarch

[Fake Mr. Kelce @captbeardguy]

@nunu_gohard I did not. He was a freshman.