hilarious read as someone who was a frequent flyer
also got an email from East Po like three months ago saying the government defunded the National Links Trust
🚨⛳️🇺🇸 #READ — In a lengthy post, President Trump announces that following a site visit today, East Potomac Golf Links will undergo renovations starting on September 1st and eventually host “The U.S. Open, The Ryder Cup, The PGA Championship, and other top PGA Tour events.”
“Most importantly on today’s visit, however, was the Secretary of the Interior, and his people, together with me and my staff, studying the dilapidated, worn out, and very dangerous and outdated Golf Course known as East Potomac Golf Links. Tom Fazio, the Great Golf Course Architect, and his son, Gavin, participated on the tour with us, whereupon it was determined that, on this fantastic site, with water and unparalleled views of D.C.’s Monuments, we will build one of the Greatest Golf Courses anywhere in the World which, importantly, will also be made available to the Public. When completed, this Course will have the ability to host Major Golf Tournaments, including The U.S. Open, The Ryder Cup, The PGA Championship, and other top PGA Tour events. Many of the trees are badly damaged from years of neglect, putting people in great danger from falling branches, and the trees falling themselves. Additionally, the sprinkler system is gone, there is no filtration, and the remaining sprinklers are incapable of even doing 10% of what is needed. The grass is largely dead, the greens are virtually unplayable, and the Course is in very poor general condition but, after many years of horrendous maintenance, and little money devoted to the process of upkeep, we have determined that this location can bring tremendous success and prestige back to Washington, D.C., along with what we have already done with respect to the lowest Crime Numbers in many years, and the fixing of 73 of our most important Statues, Monuments, and Fountains. The Course is virtually unplayable! Work on the new Course, which will go quickly, will begin on September 1st. Tom Fazio will be the Course Architect. It will be built through the Department of the Interior, and designed to the Highest Standards of Golf, but also in such a way that the General Public will love it. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”
update on this: the person I love is back in my life, still booked at work, moved into the city near all my friends in my dream neighborhood, still have the cutest cat, flying through my thesis rewrite. life is so beautiful
First year of MFA done working on my thesis cutest cat in the world person I love back in my life booked at work maybe moving to the neighborhood with all my friends Pittsburgh is magical life is looking up
“Nothing in the world of AI is immaterial or magical.
[...] If technology promises emancipation, yet produces new forms of global subordination, it stands in contradiction to the fundamental principle of human dignity.”
An Englishman, with parents who emigrated from India and Africa, molded by his working class roots, has won the PGA Championship.
The Year of the Liberal Golfer continues.
i hate the idea that americans won’t revolt bc we’re ”lazy” and not because our government has spent the better part of 100 years and trillions of dollars /perfecting/ the art of global counterrevolution and repression. this is literally the final boss lmao
First year of MFA done working on my thesis cutest cat in the world person I love back in my life booked at work maybe moving to the neighborhood with all my friends Pittsburgh is magical life is looking up
Reassurance is a LOVE LANGUAGE.
"Why do you need reassurance so much?"
"Because I've been in places where silence meant leaving."
"So what does reassurance do?"
"It tells me I don't have to prepare for goodbye every time things go quiet. It tells me I'm safe here.