Carlieee

aspiring witch, leader of underworld etc.

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

My grad yearbook quote was
"I like dogs"

Still true.

[mir.i.am #PrayForSnooki @moll11y]

Puppy Bowl isn’t so cute when you remember they’re all gonna get CTE

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

@earlsrestaurant where in the HECK is the quinoa avocado power bowl. Don’t do this to me.

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

Me: why is my eyelid swelling?

internet: could be nothing, could be CANCER

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

How many pumpkins do I need to buy to avoid seasonal depression

[Emily Murnane @emily_murnane]

Getting ready to go to the job that I applied for and badly wanted

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

@hannahsiegmund 🙋🏻‍♀️

[Mac @GoodPoliticGuy]

If every person on earth just recycled, stopped using plastic straws, and drove an electric car, 100 corporations would still produce 70% of total global emissions.

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

Sorry I can’t make it into work. My dog fell asleep on my lap.

[Justin @judith_ism]

oh “the vibes are off?” bestie you haven’t had a glass of water in 36 hours

[jame @kloogans]

trillions of microorganisms working together make me sentient: hell yea we're doing it team

me: god this sucks so bad

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

Starting a petition to ban beeping fridges. Like mind your business bitch I’m still looking for snacks

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

Do I want curtain bangs or do I need more therapy

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

Nothing like watching an avocado go bad on my counter every week to remind me I’m a sub par adult

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

Not to be dramatic but If I don’t consume a green beer today I’m going to die

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

We must protect dads at all costs

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

I just love the cute sayings on the end of tea bags <3

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

The world is divided into two categories....

people who like coconut water

and

people who have taste buds

[Carlieee @carcarjojo]

Didn’t tell my boss I broke my tail bone because I can’t look someone with a PhD in the eyes and say I drank a bottle of wine and fell trying to kick the top of my fridge

[s*d @06fordexplorer]

i will not vote on your insta poll to decide whether you or your boyfriend made a better ginger bread house i cannot have that responsibility on my shoulders

[Sarah @sarahhholton]

@ZmacZane these are the chainsmokers if anyone was wondering