Emily Anne Card

dogs. food. beer.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

It’s 2021. Public bathroom toilets should flush automatically by now. If it don’t I’m not touching that nasty button, even with my foot. So if you find a fresh steamy load, you know who to thank.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@parsley72 @engineers_feed I laughed. I liked it. Take your negativity elsewhere buddy ole pal.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@jbeckelectrical @neiltyson Lol what? You’re missing the point buddy.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@KevinHart4real Like cheating on your wife right right

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@KevinHart4real Your point?

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

Hello Mr.Tyson! Big fan! I tried to message you as to avoid embarrassing you in any way, but I wasn’t able to.. so, at any rate..this happened entirely by mistake while trying to look up your show & I couldn’t be happier and I wanted to share my excitement with you. @neiltyson

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

Twitter seems to be the only safe place. You got Instagram flooded with the far left and Facebook flooded with kids who never got over high-school/ hard core republicans. I like it here.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@Gibsonsilva06 I cannot take this shit anymore my god

[PEGEE @VH1PNUT___]

JOE BIDEN AT THE SUPERBOWL WHILE HE OWE ME $2000 I DON'T LIKE THAT

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

🤷🏼‍♀️

[Erich Berzinskas @E_rich4]

But nothing could ever top Jlo and Shakira 🔥

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@RobinhoodApp you are not open to anything you stand for. Crooks. Scum bags.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@jeffcojeffco Post a picture of your dick and you’ll be the funniest fuck around. #babydicks

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@jeffcojeffco Why do you literally shit on stuff other people might enjoy just because you don’t. You should try broadening your horizons buddy. Not everything that life has to offer has to be something you like. For example, you exist and I have to accept it.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@jeffcojeffco @MaineMammothPod Why would you ever wish for someone to be unsuccessful just because it’s not something you enjoy? Rude.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@jeffcojeffco LOL. And you’re happy that call her daddy is leaving barstool. MEANWHILE, you’re just a little boy who posts about PORN AND SPORTS. Bro I bet you wear khakis too. Knock it off.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@jeffcojeffco You’re just a little bitch boy that can’t handle raunchy humor. I was raised right. But I love me some sluts. As long as they’re not my daughter.

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@stoolpresidente !!!! Must try bufalina in Guilford CT! Wood fired pizza!

[Emily Anne Card @CardEmily]

@stoolpresidente BUFALINA IN GUILFORD CT! SMALL 12 seat! WOOD FIRED PIZZA! IF YOURE IN NEW HAVEN YOU MUST CHECK OUT BUFALINA IN GUILFORD

[jRemy @Shower_Capy]

Pixar: Let's make a thoughtful short about Chinese culture & a mother with Empty Nest syndrome

White people: THIS ISN'T MADE FOR ME I DON'T GET IT https://t.co/lMQJnPlzrK