Faye

Real ale. Pop punk. Birds.

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

So, I did some pretty dumb stuff last year (caught feelings, got locked out & lost - a lot, dated eegits) BUT, the dumbest thing I did was get involved in this silly little music video. Enjoy - see if you can spot me 😛 https://t.co/xLFlFAyV7g #morbidstufflive ⁦@puptheband⁩

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@thewonderyears 30 minutes after they went on sale, they're already on a resale for triple the price. Come on guys, do better.

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@thewonderyears @TheUnderworld yo! This is ridiculous, nearly triple the ticket price only 30 minutes after they went on sale. Is there anything you can do to help?

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@Pukkaherbs I am very confused, what flavour is today's advent calendar tea?

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@VerdantBrew I've just smashed mine, are you bringing these back? I can't find them on your website

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

I cannot believe BBC news have replace the numerical clock with a clock face, I will never ever be on time for work now #dyslexicproblems

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

Hanging up on a customer is not acceptable customer services guys.

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@Beer52HQ where are my beer advent calendars? I need to give one to a loved one this evening 🙁

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@Deliveroo shall we talk about the fact YOU cancelled my @KFC order tonight before my besties wedding and your call centre staff were unsympathetic about it? #neveragain

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@WHS_Carpet I'm ashamed to say that's my local WHS Smith's.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I once accidentally gave an ex-boyfriend someone else's boxers during the post-breakup exchange of belongings. It genuinely was an accident but I will definitely do it again for any future breakups just to seem like I'm already shagging someone new. Even if I have to buy them.

[namakau🧘🏽‍♀️ @a_namakau]

i never talk about these type of things but today i’m 1 year self- harm free and so proud of the growth💘💘💘💘

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

The author of my favourite book is roasting is own book, drunk. I love @jeffvandermeer.

[Jeff VanderMeer @jeffvandermeer]

@ellegaunt Book is shit though. Dolphin with human eye. All those nature descriptions. Boooring.

[Alex Horne @AlexHorne]

An excellent retweet, this.

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@osoosoband describe you is an absolute lyrical banger.

[Grace Petrie @gracepetrie]

The day Susie Dent is like “word of the day is cunt, as in Boris Johnson is a cunt” must surely be approaching

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@premierinn I can't book a hotel with you, so you just won't be get my custom. Your loss!

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@premierinn fancy explaining why I can't book a hotel for my best friends wedding because my credit and debit cards expire before her wedding? Shocking system and service.

[Funny Or Die @funnyordie]

if dating apps did spotify wrapped

[Surrey Squeakers @surreysqueakers]

Nugget didn't come here alone a few days ago, this is her pal Croquette. She was very nervous and quick to nip the odd finger when she first arrived, but has already grown massively in confidence and is one of the first to hit the morning veggie buffet.

[Faye @cardinae_fly]

@ohthaterika I got a lily cup because it's better for my "shape".. still no. Although I'd fully recommend Modi body's period pants x