virgo mortensen

a silly girl making silly choices

[virgo mortensen @cardydavis]

@fujoshijpeg start harmonizing equally under your breath

[virgo mortensen @cardydavis]

@fujoshijpeg when I’ll follow you into the dark plays in retail

[virgo mortensen @cardydavis]

@fujoshijpeg okay me tho maybe

[Quadcarl @Quadcarl]

They’re eating the checks
They’re eating the balances

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

i want to be exactly rich enough to buy a spacious, perfectly organized kitchen, where i’m not forced to stack all my pots and pans in a psychologically unmanageable way. and no richer

[Joe Gunn @joegunn]

I’m:
⚪️ gay
⚪️ straight
🔘 so glad that y’all are able to come to the private preview of VidantaWorld’s BON Luxury Theme Park. We have a beautiful dinner for you upstairs so please enjoy

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

merry christmas to the shareholders and of course the c-suite

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

The Trader Joe's cashiers are using their secret bell language to talk shit about me again

[Juliana @julianaraynor]

congrats on ur engagement. I’m having fettuccine alfredo delivered to my doorstep

[kelli @LagunaBiotchIG]

Trying to figure out if this girl from high school and her husband got divorced. I’m incredibly busy.

[trash jones @jzux]

my frontal lobe has decided to undevelop

[Tromac 🫶🏾 @Tromac_wav]

DC is so unserious why are you selling “piña kamalas”

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

Dawg it feel like it’s 14pm

[trash jones @jzux]

hey boss sorry I can’t come in this week I’m waiting to see if democracy disintegrates

[Dan. 🧸 @vinyldanyl]

Pink Pony Club being about The Abbey is sooo funny like Chappel Roan has a whole generation of baby queers excited to turn 21 and they’re just gonna get pickpocketed

[virgo mortensen @cardydavis]

@botwsequel Soup?? You’re tweeting about him eating soup?? Whymst

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

Me subtly trying to meet the bartender’s eye so they see I’m waiting politely and patiently and should let me order next