Carl Windthrope

The Carl who has seen and done more than you ever will. Just think for once in your life.

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

@UmanaCarl I was under the impression the station burned to the ground. I got a check last month labelled "Arson Insurance" signed by Carl Hayes.

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

I know a lot of people think I might be super human, but like everyone else I put my #TwoMinuteSocks on one toe at a time.

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

@KwzdPodcast Note: Do not mistake #ViolentCoup for the #ViolentCoupe coming soon from the makers of the Clevr Cars #SponsoredTweet #SideHustle

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

@KwzdPodcast I still have the ever successful #ViolentCoup at my disposal to vie for station presidency. #WindthropeForTheWindThrone

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

@KwzdPodcast @UmanaCarl I'm not moving my car.

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

@KwzdPodcast @UmanaCarl Finally! I get to park in a spot without a hole in it for the first time this year.

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

I swear that I will open-hand slap the first person who talks to me if all terraforming Mars needs is a bucket of water. #SoBeCarefulAnsweringACallFromKWZDThatDay #BecauseYouJustMightGetSlappedInTheFace #ByMe #Carl #KWZD #EnoughWithTheHashtagsJerry

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

I've got a brand new original Christmas song in the works. "I stayed up late on Christmas Eve/Found Santa raiding my fridge for a snack/Now that old man can never leave/Cause his knees I did attack." #KWZDHatesChristmas #CarlVsSanta #AWindthropeWonderland #KWZD #Christmas #Santa

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

I've been in this restaurant for twenty minutes and I've heard the same song three times. Who cares if it's sung by someone else, it's the same damn song and I will not stand for it. #WarOnChristmas #KWZDHatesChristmas #CarlVsChristmas #IfISeeASantaIWillFightHimOnTheSpot

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

Don't get me wrong, Christmas music is great, but I hate listening to it because there's only like five songs. Once a certain song is played that should be it for the season, no matter the version or artist. #ChristmasMusicOnlyOnce #MoreOriginalChristmasSongs

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

@KwzdPodcast #Jerry needs to be taught how to properly triple brew a coffee. It's not hard, you just brew a coffee using coffee instead of water, then use that coffee as the water for the final batch. It's the only #Carl approved way of drinking coffee.

[Carl Windthrope @CarlingOut]

Can anyone at @KwzdPodcast get @UmanaCarl to stop sleeping in my parking spot? I'm tired of having to scream at #Jerry first thing every day to move him.