Carl Johnson

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@andyburnham mate I am going to bbq my tits off tomorrow if you don't pack it in with these bastard alarms
#severealert

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 Dynamo Jugs

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 Deep fry your bean curds

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

I ordered an extra hash brown but McDonald's put an extra orange juice in instead

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 I might order a mixed kebab to show my solidarity

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@RM14____ Alan?

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 Yes but the woke brigade have added loads of lasses to it now. Not like the good old days when it was just Phil Taylor and Steve Davis tossing eachother off. And Botham's cock.

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@GreggsOfficial @mr_sketheway its time

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@ChampionsLeague hurry the fuck up lads we're all missing The Chase for this

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 It wasn't a dog, I got caught short on the way home

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@TheofficialDon He's not gonna shag you Don. Although it would be fucking mental if he did.

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@hadawayandshite I've seen you do something similar when Morrys put the price of a chicken dipper and wedges meal deal up

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@hadawayandshite @nocontextfooty Bollocks

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 @mr_sketheway

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@mr_sketheway @Fact

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 @elonmusk Pair it with the tirimashoes and I'll kill you

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 @elonmusk I knew you'd worn static coloured clothing to wind me up before!

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 @elonmusk Fuck sake that's probably cost me 4 tweets a retweet and a reacharound. Sort it out Elon.

[Carl Johnson @carljohnson125]

@JoeH1985 @elonmusk Story clogging everyone's timelines with your shit tweets then. We need to ration our banter!